Ask an Amateur Scientist: The Roswell Rock
By Brian Thompson
I. The Setup
Let’s get this out of the way right now: I have no idea where the Roswell Rock came from. This isn’t going to be the usual attempt at debunking but instead an examination of what’s so often wrong with reporting on topics about aliens, UFOs, Bigfoot, lake monsters, homeopathy, and every other corner of Castle Nonsense in which most of the world sadly makes its home. (On a nearly related note, Castle Nonsense also houses Dracula’s corpse in its basement, though only a Mr. Belmont knows the way down there. Don’t ask me.)
I’m using this recent Roswell Rock story as an example. There may be some problems with this approach, however. As ridiculous as this story is, it probably isn’t the most ridiculous I could find. And since it’s so recent (as of this writing), it’s bound to change as new information comes in. But it’ll have to do. For one thing, I don’t have time to go digging through the archives of bad science reporting when I’m busy watching Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog over and over again.
For another, this story is really, really stupid.
II. The Findings
“Strange rock raises questions,” reads the headline. Already, Roswell Daily Record staff writer Frank Levine falls into the mystery-mongering trap. You should always be wary of any headline containing a variation on the phrases “scientists baffled” or “thingamajig has doctors scratching heads” or “what-the-hell-ever defies explanation”. Often, as is the case here, the only questions raised are from people too ignorant or complacent to do actual research. Any story’s more interesting when a mystery’s involved (unless that mystery is dragged out for nine seasons and replaces Mulder with a Terminator), and these reporters are just trying to make their stories more compelling. But when entertainment trumps reality, you end up with bad journalism. You’ll often read headlines about mystery diseases or strange new species or blurry alien photos that no one has explained, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be explained. And after these stories are written, there’s rarely ever a follow-up about how they have been explained. Case in point: the autism/vaccine myth. Jenny McCarthy marching on Washington with her rubber-faced boyfriend will make the front pages (or, in the case of online news outlets, the frontpages), but the articles about every scientific study showing there’s no link between vaccines and autism goes either unwritten or unnoticed at the bottom of the health section. One story is more entertaining (and has Playboy bunny boobs), but the other more accurately reflects reality.
On to the lead: “A strange rock with unusual magnetic properties – deeply scored, with what appears to be moon phases, a solar eclipse and the depiction of a supernova — has been unearthed on the outskirts of Roswell. Its discovery has startled researchers, scientists and all who have examined it.” Later on in the article, the “magnetic properties” are described by UFO researcher Chuck Zukowski as a retention of “magnetic polarity”. In other words, the thing’s magnetic. This doesn’t really mean anything, however, since it’s not uncommon to find magnetic rocks. The Earth itself is a giant magnet (which, if the claims of the magnetic wrist band manufacturers are true, means that all of us should have amazing golf swings), and iron-bearing minerals in rocks retain some of the Earth’s magnetic field. Of course, we have no way of knowing whether this rock really is magnetic, because the reporter decided to take a UFO researcher’s word over actually contacting a laboratory that may have analyzed the rock.
And what’s all this about the symbol carved on the rock’s surface? I can see phases of the moon, perhaps, in the crescent and circle shapes. Although, the artist may have simply been a fan of pie and Croissandwiches. But a solar eclipse and a supernova? Just because you say things about what an image represents, that doesn’t make it true. (Thus, the entire field of abstract expressionist criticism is rendered moot.)
So let’s look at who has examined the rock. According to the article, it was found by Roswell businessman Robert Ridge, who found it while deer hunting in late 2004. He showed it to some family and friends before locking it in a safe deposit box until last year. Putting aside the relative weirdness of locking away a pretty rock you found in a safe for three years, Ridge reveals a believer’s bias when he says that he gave the rock to UFO investigators so he could satisfy his curiosity about it. What about this rock would lead someone to believe it was alien? It’s a rock with pictures carved on it! Why not give it to a geologist or an anthropologist? This is like consulting tea leaves about that growth on your thigh. Regardless, the reporter doesn’t bother to probe Ridge’s motivations any further.
Zukowski claims the UFO researchers did take the rock to experts who “claimed they had never seen anything like it”, but again, none of these alleged experts are quoted in the article themselves. I understand that scientists are very busy pouring chemicals into glass tubes and playing god on the taxpayers’ dime, but there has to be at least one willing to glance at a rock and provide a quote for the Roswell Daily Record. Zukowski goes on to marvel at how the carving could only have been achieved with modern tools. Even assuming this is true, how can this fact possibly be impressive to anyone who knows that the planet is littered with rocks, modern tools, and people who use modern tools to carve rocks? Apparently this man has never been to a college-level sculpting class. (Which is fine with me, by the way. I don’t need any competition from sexy, rough-handed liberal arts majors.)
But wait, it gets dumber. The reporter goes on to parrot the UFO investigators’ claims that the rock’s carvings mirror patterns in crop circles from Liddleton, England, indicating an extraterrestrial origin. This would only make sense if crop circles were known to be of extraterrestrial origin instead of guys-with-boards-and-rope origin. It’s also posited that if the rock is an alien artifact, its finding would mark the second time Roswell received communications from space. I’ve covered the nonsense that is the Roswell myth in this column before, so I won’t go into it again. Suffice it to say, there’s no evidence that aliens were in any way involved in the so-called Roswell incident. But even if they were, how would a few drunken E.T.s crashing their sports cruiser into the New Mexico wilderness constitute “communications” from space? It wouldn’t be interstellar dialog so much as an insurance claim.
III. The Conclusion
To sum up, the problem with most reporting on paranormal subjects simply boils down to poor journalistic standards. A reporter could never get away with quoting second-hand sources and simply repeating the assertions of unqualified opportunists when, say, writing about politics. I’ve heard several times via e-mail that Barack Obama is a Muslim, the Antichrist, and can blow up your car when you use him at the gas station, but none of these claims will make the top stories on CNN.com because they don’t stand up to journalistic standards of research. For some reason, when it comes to ghosts, free energy, or UFO sightings, all bets are off.
Instead of taking the rock to a scientist and quoting said scientist’s findings, this reporter chooses instead to throw in a paragraph about how some Native American woman with “powers” claimed to feel the rock’s “vibrations”. And instead of questioning the reliability of Mr. Ridge, he chooses instead to simply relay this quote: “After I had [the rock] a few months, I began to think about it and began to think that it may be a beacon of some kind, or a message. And I believe the message is that if we don’t learn to get along with each other, we will be destroyed.”
Either that, or no one was interested in buying an oversized paperweight.
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About The Amateur Scientist: Brian Thompson is a professor of amateur science at a major imaginary university and a regular blogger at CHUD. He has been able to read and write for over seventeen years.
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I’d never heard of this one before. It more-than-passingly sounds like an open con job to me, rather than the normal “It’s probably not true, but I’m kind of dumb so I can’t figure it out” people who are usually involved in these sorts of things. Do you think Mr. Ridge actually “Found” the thing, or made it up as a kind of “James Ossuary” way to grab notoriety and money?
BTW, about a decade ago I rented a house from a “Modern Sculptor.” (That is, a guy who’s sculptures didn’t look anything like the things they were supposed to be, and frequently didn’t look like anything at all). His ‘failed experiments’ were everywhere. I’d even find ‘em half-burried in the back yard while I was mowing the lawn, so finding abandoned oddities in a field isn’t that unusual, particularly around a nut hatch town like Roswell.
Well I’m the investigator on this project. The names of the Anthropologists have been
released, Dr. Phil Shelly, and Dr. Bill Doleman both out of New Mexico. Ok, now pay
attention. We have completed Phase 1, which is to “debunk” the rock, explore its
magnetic properties, and understand the 3 dimensional design itself. The two
Anthropologists in question have done a “visual” I repeat “a visual” examination on this
rock “for free” and that’s all! Please do not tarnish their reputations. They both
recommended we put this rock into a lab for analysis, which is what we were hoping they
would say. That is our plan pending funding, if you want to give me $6000.00 I will start the lab
analysis. Ok yes! I know there are magnetic rocks, do you think I would spend a year
investigating this and not know that? Give us a little credit.. “geeesh” The last part of
Phase 1 is releasing this to the public. This way if 500 of these things showed up in
a store in Singapore, then it would be “Case Closed”. But as of yet we have a lot of
mouthy people saying it can be done, but they can’t put their “rocks” where their mouth
is. And yes, I’ve gone and talked with many companies who engrave and yes it can be
done, but it would be expensive especially to keep the polarity. High heat will
crystallize atoms, so this would have to be their intention from the get go. And guess
what? The rock is polarized only on the Crop Circle design side and not on the other
side. Very unusual for a lodestone. No I’m not a Geologist or Mineralogist I’m an IC
Mask Design Engineer and have been designing microchips for 22 years, so I know a little
something about research. And I can’t stop the way reporters write about this
investigation, that’s why I was on Coast to Coast last Monday night so the listeners
could get information from the “horses” mouth. And.. if you goto YouTube and search
“Roswell Rock Circle” you’ll see two videos I downloaded. The extended version is a
little better. If you want to debunk this, then go-at-it please, this is my intention,
but debunking with words is useless and lazy and we all know this. That is the difference
between ‘Couch Investigations” and “Field Investigations”
chuck
The rock looks like the kind of thing you’d find in gift shops all over Sedona, AZ, possibly crafted by a local artisan and intended to amplify magnetic currents for a good ol’ new age time. Does the rock stink of patchouli?
BTW, this would be a great viral marketing campaign for the new X-Files movie.
Not to be rude or anything, Mr. Zukowski, but it’s my understanding that legitimate investigations generally are a case of “I have no idea what this is, I will now go about finding out.” If you’ve already decided this is an extraterrestrial object d’art, and are attempting to prove that, then isn’t that kind of violating the scientific method?
I realize I’m being overly simplistic, but this site and others regularly make fun of creationists who attempt to use science to back up what they already believe: if you’ve got a preconceived notion about this, then wouldn’t you be doing the same thing as them, only to a different degree?
Again, not trying to be insulting, just asking for an explanation so I can understand your motivations in this.
This is good question. I am a UFO Investigator, pretty good with the Roswell
Investigation. This rock “blind-sided” me. I have never seen this type of artifact
before and I’ve been to many UFO and Metaphysical conventions. I can’t say if it’s
ET origin, and that was not my first impression. A good friend of mine who is
a Native American story teller tells me her ancestors speak of “Cloud People” who had
healing stones, then another story of a healer who walked the “Mid-Northwest” with
healing stones. My sister and I approached this investigation as skeptics, and spent
alot of time trying to debunk this. If it is an item you can find in Sedona, Arizona, then
It’s a pretty good one, and so far “one of a kind” because as of this writing, no one
has come up with its twin. This story has been posted “world-wide”. I wrote an article
which will be printed in the UK, I just saw one from Germany, and other than the skeptics
saying it’s fake, they cannot debunk this “as-of-yet”.
chuck
Mr. Zukowski, if you’ve done any investigation into Roswell, you should know that there’s no evidence of extraterrestrial activity in regards to the so-called Roswell Incident at all. So to even entertain the idea that this rock may be of E.T. origin, even if that wasn’t your “first impression”, is already outside the bounds of scientific investigation.
There’s nothing at all unusual about this rock. It does indeed appear to be nothing but a bit of tourist flotsam, and according to the original reporter on this story, there have even been some people in Roswell who have brought examples of similar tacky UFO folk art to the offices of the Roswell Daily Record. Further, the fact that this pattern is an exact match with a crop circle pattern in England leads one automatically to believe that it’s a simple case of human copying.
As far as the rock’s magnetic attributes go, I simply can’t believe your claims. I’ve watched your YouTube video, and it’s completely ridiculous. When you say the rock is causing the compass to spin, you’re clearing swirling the rock in your hand. In order for a magnet to make a compass spin while stationary, it has to have a constantly reversing polarity, which is impossible in any natural object. But to make a magnetic rock do what it does in your video, all it takes is for a terrible investigator to make little circles with it.
For someone who describes himself as being skeptical, you clearly lack a certain level of critical thinking skill.
Mr. Zukowski,
Thanks for your reply. I appreciate your time. I have to disagree with your tenative conclusion, though. Not only have I not seen any conclusive evidence of UFOs in Roswell or elsewhere, I haven’t even seen any conclusive evidence of any life – sentient or otherwise – existing anywhere in the universe aside from Earth. Assuming life exists elsewhere is a big enough assumption, but assuming it’s intelligent (Another bit assumption), can travel through interstellar space (Another huge assumption), found Earth (there’s nothing to make us stand out, so another huge assumption), and landed in Arizona specifically to carve a rock and then discard it in the desert seems to me to be an enormous bias from which to start a scientific investigation.
I would like to see the character who dropped the rock initially. The guy with the rock now doesn’t have the “stroke” to run a hoax of this nature.
brian…you stupid fuck…lost me at homeopathy. you don’t even deserve the rating as amateur. you have as much writing talent as my pet fish. yes my fucking fish. get through the murk of your twisted outlook on the world and try another 4 yrs of braindead highschool and then, just maybe then, you might be able to serve in the military and get a gi bill to get yer ass in highschool again mutherfuckin twit
oh i forgot to mention that i was just interested in the rock. not to read about a couple children using words they look up in a thesaurus because they’re trying to find a bigger word for googoogaga. by the way…was it you brian or hubajuba whos’ dad paid to have it the second hit on google. fuck you kids piss me off. get a fucking life and contribute to society not tear it down. oh better yet move to fucking washington, become a politician, and fuck up the world even more. you seem like a person who ruins dreams to me.
Maybe I could enroll at the same high school where they taught you “whos’” was a word.
I wonder what it is about this Roswell Rock story that attracts all the drooling lunatics. Check out the comments on the post at my own site:
http://www.amateurscientist.org/2008/07/roswell-rock.html
Anyway, “rounderus”, I’m sure there are plenty of homeopathic remedies for your anxiety problems. Maybe you can cook some up at your camp site in South America after the NWO collapses the economy.
(Don’t worry, everyone else. “rounderus” knows what I’m talking about.)
i love reactions. actually….i make a living at it. i don’t care a bit about rocks and conspiracy. i like that you read the threads on aj. ask and you will recieve.