Terry Pratchett = One Eloquent Badass

By Heather Carpenter

Imagine a sea turtle…but really huge…actually, the term gargantuan would be appropriate here….only bigger than that. Now, imagine that it is swimming through outer space and riding on its back are four elephants of ginormous proportions (how any of them breathe isn’t important). Across the top of the backs of the four hugantic pachyderms is a flattish disk. This disk (or, I should say, Disc) is a world.

Take a moment to accept all of this, I’ll wait……….

OK, I’m done waiting. Just try to keep up.

This odd compilation exists in the far reaches of the universe and reality. Magic permeates all of existence and is the why and reason for everything. The phrase “over the edge” is not figurative on the Disc. The gods watch over everyone and everything from their seat on top of the hub…but whether or not they do anything about it is debatable. The sun circles the Disc and the constellations are never the same because Great A’Tuin (the turtle) is constantly on the move. Dwarves, trolls, werewolves and vampires are minority groups trying to cope under extreme racial prejudices, witches are people that just happen to be much smarter than anyone else around, wizards spend more time fighting amongst themselves than doing magic and elves aren’t as nice as they look.

This is the world that Terry Pratchett has created in his Discworld series.

It all seems rather run of the mill as science fiction/ fantasy worlds go (its not like it was hiding in the back of a closet or ruled by a disembodied eyeball, after all). What makes the Discworld series special is Pratchett’s expert use of satire, character development, and philosophic insight. The series has a very distinct flavor of English dark comedy coupled with a unique taste of optimistic hopefulness (i.e. everyone might be able to get along and live in peace if only they would stop acting like complete idiots). Each story is so jam packed with satire, it’s impossible to pick up on all of the jokes in just one reading (and yes, I said “jam packed”). If Tolkien, Twain and Wilde sat down together to create a world, I would bet that they couldn’t come up with anything as fantastic and funny as the Discworld….

Given that they’re all dead, I figure this is a safe bet even if you don’t agree…

If you need further convincing of Lord Pratchett’s supreme awesomeness, here are a few pearls from the series:

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What’s up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don’t think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!

            –The Truth

Words are the litmus paper of the minds. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word “commence” in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say “Enter”, don’t stop to pack.

            –Small Gods

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

            –Hogfather

I mean, COME ON! Could anything be more eloquent and badass as that?! 

I enjoyed all of the books to an obscene extent (let’s just say I’ve read each book more than once). There is some minor “voice” finding in the first couple novels in comparison to the more fully developed recent releases; however I totally recommend that the early books be read…okay, I demand it, but in a more genteel fashion. And don’t be fooled by the lack-luster synopsis on the back of each book. To quote Barbara Mertz, 

“Trying to summarize the plot of a Pratchett novel is like describing Hamlet as a play about a troubled guy with an Oedipus complex and a murderous uncle.”

There is no particular order to the series; however, it should be noted that there are series within the series. These sub-series tend to revolve around the antics of certain characters and take place in, for lack of a better word, “real-time”. For instance, some of the characters will make reference to events or act in ways that seem strange when the series is not read in the order of publication (the stories concerning The Witches characters should definitely be read in order). As described on www.terrypratchetbooks.com: 

“…well, it’s like this. If you started watching Star Trek halfway through the series you probably wondered why one guy had pointy ears. But since you liked what you saw, you probably let the question ride for now and just got on with enjoying the show.”

Need I say more?

There are approximately thirty-six official Discworld Novels, with the thirty-seventh due to be published in September. There are at least four children’s novels by Terry Pratchett within the series. I particularly like the ones centered on Tiffany Aching (pre-teen witch) and the Nac Mac Feegle (no, I won’t tell you who they are, and yes, I do enjoy torturing you).

There are numerous spin-off books from this series (The Art of Discworld, etc) which I have not yet investigated fully being that I always seem to be broke whenever I find an available copy. The series has also inspired some movie adaptations and theatrical productions as well as video games…but I will reserve all comments on them at this time. I also hear tell that the publishers are now reissuing his earlier books as graphic novels; from what I’ve seen, they look like great adaptations.                            

Check him out at www.terrypratchettbooks.com. You can also read the first page or two from some of the Discworld books on the www.barnesandnoble.com “See Inside” option. Or, there’s always my good friend Google, who will surely help you reach the innermost circles of intense Discworld fandom.

OK….I have finished my fanatic rambling….you may now continue your search for online Tetris. 

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Heather Carpenter was born and raised on earth and consequently has an affinity for gravity and tides. She also enjoys acting, painting, philosophy and novels.

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