“It’s my industrial strength hair dryer, and I can’t live without it!” - Princess Vespa

Emotional Rescue (And Lots of Yummy Closeups)
by Sylvia Bond
Supernatural Episode Review, Season Two - Episode 4
“Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things”

There’s a MOW in this ep, and all you zombie fiends should be well satisfied on account of the grey-skinned corpse brought to life, dead flesh walking, and nasty kisses from recently-been-buried mouths. I hear you, I do, but for me, the MOW was merely the skeleton for the meat. A framework for the real heart of the story which, to my delight included sidewalk rants and graveside chats, grief, guilt, porn, more porn, sweat, mantears, underwear, and, last but not least, Sam coming to Dean’s emotional rescue as Dean looses his grip. The Dad even has his own mention, without any help from me. What’s not to like? Nothing, that’s what.

I’m not into zombies, but a lot of my friends are. Because they’re my friends, I’m compelled to make allowances and let them natter on about it (while I roll my eyes in secret), but I just don’t get the whole zombie attraction, I don’t. Vampires, sure, there’s a certain amount of sex appeal there, the whole never-grow-old aspect of it, the fangs, the power, not to mention those capes. And vampires are just cool. But zombies? They’re just ex-dead people, they have horrible skin and nasty tempers. There’s nothing there that pulls me in.

Maybe it’s the myriad of ways, according to “lore,” that you can kill zombies. Maybe what people are into is the idea of legalized wholesale slaughter, because, after a person becomes a zombie, what else can you do with them but kill them? This is, of course, excluding the friendship between Shaun and Ed in the VERY hilarious Shaun of the Dead in which zombies can be our helpmates as well as game show contestants. As a nice (albeit unintentional) shout out in that movie, the name of the place that Shaun and Ed try to get to in order to protect themselves from zombies is the Winchester Pub. Naturally they have the best lager for miles.

At any rate, the MOW involves the foursome of Matt, Angela, Neal, and the other chick, Lindsey, some of whom are having sex with each other (ethically and otherwise), and some of whom are having no sex (FYI - Neal). When Matt and Angela have a fight (she discovered he was sleeping with her best friend), she drives off crying, and is killed in a car accident. Neal makes her come back to life using a necromancy ritual and then his real trouble starts. Angela kills Matt, then she kills the other chick, and when she senses Neal getting a little freaked by all this, she kills him. Then she chases Sam, then Dean kills her, and that’s it. If someone could explain the whole zombie thing, then I could get more excited about the MOW this week. Otherwise, it’s on to the good stuff.

Aside from my lack of interest in zombies, I do love the boys when they dither and discuss, chase and destroy, all in the name of saving innocent lives. This week, they throw themselves entirely into it, giving up on sleep and hot meals and managing, somehow, to still look hotter than burning. And I don’t know whether it’s the plethora of close-ups or whether it’s because the Wardrobe Department totally understood that Dean’s a Summer while Sam is a Winter and dressed the boys in colors appropriate to their season, or whether it’s because the boys’ skin glows because it’s summer where they are and they’re sweating a bit or what. I’m willing to go with any and all of the above, besides which, the method doesn’t matter as much as the results.

Although at the same time, I wonder how they’re able to walk among civilians as they do and not be seen for the hunters that they are. For example, there is the bit where Dean breaks into Angela’s apartment and encounters her roommate, Lindsey. She’s dressed in her underwear, which Show seems to think is the usual attire for young, nubile characters, and in comes Dean. Now, imagine you’re her and you don’t know who Dean is. He breaks in and comes at you with that cocky smile and those glitter-green eyes, and you’d do what Lindsey says she’s going to do, and that’s call the cops because he’s a serial rapist for sure. But, then Dean pulls out the sweetness and lies, and she, for some freaking reason, believes him. Don’t get me wrong, Dean’s got a pretty sweet smile, but the whole scene makes me work on my willing-suspension-of-disbelief muscle pretty hard. Watching him having to put up with her sobbing is pretty funny though. Dean is way out of his depth, because as hard as he tries, he’s not the sharing and caring type.

Next up is another cute scene, and that is the HIL-arious bit where Dean walks in on Sam, who’s been waiting, bored, back at the motel room. Now, for the boys, motel rooms are, second to the Impala, the only home they know. And what do you do while you’re at home? Why, watch porn, of course! For Sam that means taking in a little of Casa Erotica Four, though to look at his position on the bed and the rumpled sheets behind him, I’d say he’s already seen One through Three and who knows what else by the time Dean sashays in. So now the earlier sob scene makes sense. It’s a flip: Dean deals with the crying girl and Sam gets his rocks off back at the motel. Plus, you just know that Dean is going to give Sam holy hell for AGES about this. As for Sam, he always seemed to be the type of boy you’d bring home to mother. The butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth kind of guy. Sweet, innocent, earnest Sam. Sammy, Sam, Sam. I’ve been so wrong about you. So very, very wrong.

Meanwhile Dean has stolen Angela’s diary, which leads the boys to find out who the zombie might be. There’s a lovely walk and talk where the boys talk about digging up ripe rotting bodies (all in keeping with the zombie theme, apparently), and then they go dig her up. I’ll admit that I’ve got a weakness for the boys in scenes where they dig. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, really, and I figure there are at least three to five fangirls who feel just the way I do about this sort of thing.

Men at work has such a lovely ring to it; when it’s Sam and Dean, you can hear peals of church bells from across the land. First there’s the whole idea that they’re not afraid to be in a graveyard at night. Sure, there’re lots of things that spook them, but not this. They walk among the headstones as easy as Huck and Tom and start digging. And second, as they dig, naturally, they get sweaty. You just know they’ve got grit building up along the backs of their necks, and grave dust clinging to the fine hairs along their arms. This seems the very essence of what they are and what they do - I love the realism of it and wish there were more scenes like this one.

Naturally, since this is an ep about zombies, Angela’s body is missing, thereby proving that she is a zombie. Then the boys dither over how to waste a zombie, and apparently, according to “lore,” there are way too many ways to kill zombies, so the boys don’t know which one to try first. At the very least, they go visit Neal to find out what he knows. (The dead plants are a giveaway that a zombie is involved.) We get yet more references to porn, more arguing, and Dean’s lovely comment to Sam that “It takes two to have hardcore sex.” Well, frankly it takes two to have any kind of real sex, but what the jibe tells me is that not only has Sam not been getting laid, but also that Dean is really worried about it! For Dean, sex is as necessary as breathing, and I like that; I think that’s a healthy attitude to have. Sam is practically a monk, and that has its uses too. Seducing a monk earns more points than seducing a guy who’s already into it, so that just adds to Sam’s charm.

Later, the boys go back again to visit Neal, but he’s still lying to them and everything. What I like here is the fact that Dean manhandles Neal because it’s something that Dean normally doesn’t do. It illustrates how he’s getting out of hand, and watch Sam watching Dean (as he does throughout the entire ep) all narrow eyed and keyed up. Plus when Dean is talking to Neal, you can get a sense that he can almost smell Neal lying. That’s a good power to have, especially when dealing with pip squeeks like Neal.

Next, Sam and Dean trundle back to the gravesite, hoping to trick Angela into showing her face so they can waste her. Dean lights candles, which is always sweet, and Sam pulls a gun out of his pants. At which point I must stop, so that I can talk about Sam’s underwear just for a minute. I have a few fetishes (that I’ll keep to myself, thanks) and underwear isn’t one of them. So I’m not usually driven wild by the sight of a pair of said article of clothing, nor am I inclined to fantasize about them. But as Sam and Dean are planning their fake ritual by Angela’s graveside, Sam does that thing with his gun. He lifts up his shirt, pulls his belt and jeans away from his waist, and pulls the gun out. As he does so, he reveals a great deal of skin, and there, just above the line of his belt, is the line of his underwear. (Boxers, I think.)

I’m sorry to go on and on like this, but the first time I saw this shot, I gasped. It was like they were giving something away for free, something I didn’t even know I wanted. I’m not sure whether it was the director or the cameraman who determined it would be prudent and wise to take a whole 30 seconds for this shot. As to what it was supposed to show, I imagine that Show wanted to demonstrate the rough and ready can-do attitude of our boys in that when they need a place to put their gun and don’t have one? They improvise. So Sam improvises with his underwear, and Dean has done the same on many an occasion. But the camera angle is so tight and so IN there that it was like I caught Sam undressing rather than just taking his gun out.

And really, to me, it’s not the underwear, it’s the skin beneath. The small of a man’s back rarely sees the sun (unless he’s into Speedos), and so tends to be sweet and soft to the touch. Hey, men have their turnons, like the everloving black lingerie or French maid’s outfit, this is mine. Or one of mine. The rest of which you will have to just guess at because more detailed than that I’m not willing to be.

At any rate, there’s running and jumping and leaping, during the filming of which Mr. Padalecki hurt his wrist so badly that he had to wear a cast during subsequent episodes. Frankly, I think that shows a great deal of smarts on Show’s part, because instead of hiding the break, or stopping filming till it healed, they worked it in. Oh, sure, there wasn’t any dialog about it, but it was there. It was a part of their lives; you see Sam with a cast for ages and ages. It totally made sense too, because, honestly, to imagine that these boys go through their entire lives without any broken bones is totally ridiculous. Plus, I like to think that while Sam slept, big bro snuck in with a Sharpie and drew something (or several somethings) obscene on there.

The last bit about the zombie thing that I enjoyed was Dean sliding across the grass to land with a thump in Angela’s coffin. Sure, Sam didn’t enjoy being bait, and I don’t think I would either. But Dean is all guts and muscle as he does this, not flinching. Not turning away. He stabs the pretty zombie girl while looking her right in the eyes. But that’s Dean for you. He takes his job seriously, and faces things head on. At least these sorts of things. Because, as you know, he avoids chick flick moments like the plague.

As for what else this ep is about, it’s about Dean avoiding those moments, and about Sam standing guard, wanting Dean to either handle his emotions or, at the very least, admit that he’s got any. Sam’s like me. He could give a hang about the whole zombie thing (I’m with you there, Sammy) but I’m sure he’s happy that Dean has something to focus on, somewhere to externalize the rage that Sam is sure has built up. In the meanwhile, he can’t pin Dean down or make him cry or talk or anything. Doesn’t mean he stops trying, and that’s Sam. He’s made himself Dean’s emotional gatekeeper, and. like Dean, he takes his job very seriously.

At the beginning of the ep, Sam wants to go visit The Mom’s grave because it seems appropriate now that The Dad is gone. To my way of thinking, Sam knows how to grieve. He kneels by her headstone and then buries The Dad’s dogtags in the earth because he feels The Dad would have wanted it that way. As his tears roll, I think he’s beautiful and I hope that soon Dean will come over as well and do a little grieving of his own. I like it when Dean cries because I’m twisted and whacked like that.

Dean, on the other hand, would rather go the Roadhouse, even though he doesn’t like “those people” and doesn’t want to have to make small talk while waiting for Sam. But he goes along anyway and then stands aside while Sam goes through his ritual; he doesn’t want anywhere near that much emotion. Then, with a start, I realize that his shirt collar is so open that I can see his clavicle bone. Now THERE is a fetish for you. I think it’s one of the sexiest bones in the body and here is Dean, sporting his with as much moxie as a call girl. How dare he! This is a serious, meaningful moment for Sam and Dean is tarted up enough to start charging by the hour. (And Sam is wearing a snap-button shirt, my my.)

Then to add insult to injury, the boys dither over the top of the roof of the Impala. I can’t possibly pay attention to the dialog or the plot, not when the boys do this. It’s so classic and so beautiful, that I’m forced to watch the scene SEVERAL times before I get it. Dean convinces Sam to go along with the idea that something’s amiss in this little town, and it’s their duty as hunters to investigate.

Naturally this investigation crosses paths with the ideas of grief and what’s dead should stay dead, and all of that. When they talk to Angela’s Dad, you can see Dean going through the motions, pretending to be sorry and all. Because for him, Kubler-Ross model of grief involves denial, a whole bunch of other stuff, and then acceptance. Anyone who can’t pull up their big boy panties and deal is just weak. Which Dean obviously thinks Angela’s Dad is.

Sam, of course, knows better, and back at the motel, the boys have a major dither as Sam calls his brother to task. I’m sure it must be getting old for him trying to make Dean talk, trying to make him admit that the whole hunt is just a part of Dean’s Denial, and if Dean could just admit THAT, he could move on to the next stage, whatever that is. Again I am distracted because the lighting is such that the blue of Dean’s shirt (a color which he should wear, like, all the time. That is, when he’s not wearing olive green, or that nice, rather tight, grey t-shirt I know he’s got rolled up in that duffle somewhere) makes his skin glow and his eyes glitter. Plus he’s so beautiful when he’s pissed, his Angry Eyes are just amazing here. Then he announces that he’s going to get a drink. By himself, which as you know is when the succubus gets you. (And why hasn’t show had a succubus for the MOW, I ask you?)

Then, later, the boys go back to Angela’s Dad’s house, because they think that he might be the one responsible for all the zombie action in the neighborhood. Now, I love Dean, I do. Everyone knows this, even Sam, much to his dismay. (Don’t worry, you’ll get your turn, sweetheart.) But in the scene where he interrogates the grieving father, I have to say this about Dean or be willing to be accused of dissembling. It’s not that Dean’s a little crass or harsh, it’s not even that he’s wrong about Angela’s Dad, or that he’s going about it the wrong way. I’ve seen Dean stumble through interrogations, say the wrong thing, flirt with the wrong grandma, but that’s just Dean. Here, he was an out and out asshole.

Not that that’s not in character, given the parameters of this particular ep, Dean’s spinning out of control, and this is the way he demonstrates this. But he made me cringe - I’m not used to seeing him so cruel or thoughtless or heartless. It’s a little uncomfortable for me, watching him make the mistakes he’s making, but the rant afterward on the sidewalk makes up for it. Dean strides forward, trying to shake his brother, while Sam is on him like a collie trying to herd sheep. There are many Deanish strides with much manly thigh action, and Sam ranting, saying things that Dean can’t or won’t hear.

There are tons of georgeous close-ups where Sam looks as brown and edible as a berry and Dean glows like he’s lit from within. And the conversation is pretty good too, because Sam is like a mongoose that has a poisonous snake in his sights. He tells Dean that he’s out of control and downright scary. Dean, of course, is unmoved by any of this. Then Sam says something to Dean that I love because it’s so true. He says, “You’re the only one who thinks you have to take care of yourself.” Their lives are so messed up that talking about the cops arriving and having to kill zombies is easier for Dean than talking about he’s feelings about all the people he’s loved and lost.

And then, there is the last great scene, the mother of all angsty scenes, in full sunshine on a beautiful day, the Impala looking like a sleek black beast and the boys tall and manly against the pine trees. Any fangirl could tell you the scene I mean. They refer to it by many names: the hillside scene, the scene where Dean pulls over (as if there were only one of those, which totally isn’t true), and finally, the scene of the mantear of pain.

Dean pulls over. He goes around to the front of the car and sits on the hood, rather like it makes him feel better to stay connected with his best girl. Sam follows and sits down too. And then Dean starts talking. He talks about being sorry, about how it’s his fault The Dad is gone, how he suspects that The Dad is dead because of him. It’s almost too painful to watch to enjoy properly because this is Dean, feeling bad enough that he’s actually opening up and spilling his guts to Sammy. He’s going through Kubler-Ross so fast, it makes your head spin.

But me, being me, I’m rolling in it, because as he does so, that one tear in his right eye builds up. I’m sure, absolutely sure, that in spite of the cutaway action as the camera goes between his face and Padalecki’s, that this was a single take for Ackles. Tell me I’m wrong and I still won’t believe you and that is because of the way the tear builds up. It does this little by little, incrementally, realistically. And then it spills, all full of pain and grief and every other painful emotion you can think of. Spills like hot mercury down his face, and then after Dean says miserable, self-deprecating thing he can think of to say, he finishes up with, “What could you possibly say that would make that alright?”

Nothing, that’s what. There is nothing Sam can say, because there is nothing to say, not in the face of that much anger, a whole bunch of other stuff, and then acceptance. It’s a beautiful scene and a fabulous way to end an ep that seemed to be about zombies, but was really about something more important altogether. So you can kind of see why I think the fact that the MOW is a zombie is irrelevant when juxtaposed next to Sam, and Dean, and grief. To me, all that angst (and the almost unearthly beauty of Dean when he cries) is just a whole lot more fun than dumb old zombies.

Sylvia Bond is a ten-year technical writing veteran with too many degrees under her belt to count. She lives in Colorado, but does not ski, preferring instead to spend her money and time at the annual Great American Beer Festival, taking road trips across the United States, and reading historical fiction from the comfort of her fluffy green arm chair. She has been involved in fandom since 1993 and been writing fanfic since approximately 1993. What she finds most amazing about fandom (besides the open heartedness of fans and the sheer amount of creativity) is how visible fandom has become. “In my day,” she says, “we had to hide behind P.O. boxes to get fanfic. But nowadays, people wear t-shirts that shout their affiliation and share their shiny toys on the internet.” It’s a wonderful world.

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