Warrior Princess 101 – Lesson 20: Bruce Campbell Makes Everything a Little Bit Better

with Professor of Fangeekonomics, Ms. Melissa Voelker

Reference Materials for today’s class: 
Xena: Warrior Princess, Episode 1.17 – The Royal Couple of Thieves

This week, Class,  we will take a look at the lighter side of the Xenaverse, when Bruce Campbell is brought in to brighten things up as Autolycus, the King of Thieves.  Revisiting the character he first played in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Bruce Campbell manages to bring some comedic fun to Xena, which has a habit of becoming too mired in its own darkness.

A summary of today’s reference material:
A peaceful afternoon for a procession of priests is ruined suddenly when their prized jewel is stolen by a hooded figure.  Once he seems to be in the clear (leaving chaos behind in his wake) he reveals himself to be Autolycus, the King of Thieves.  With a laugh and a wink he is ready to take off, but unfortunately Xena catches him in a moment of narcissism and quickly gets the upper hand.  Not one to be caught so easily, Autolycus tries to escape, but in the end the warrior princess does not let him get away.  Not that he tries too hard after learning that his recently stolen jewel is nothing more than a melty piece of candy.

Now that Autolycus is firmly (basically) in hand, Xena and Gabrielle explain the mission they have in mind for him.  The most powerful weapon in the world has been stolen from its rightful owners and is going to be sold off to the highest bidder by Malthus, a less than honorable warlord.  Of course the potential buyers of this weapon are a collection of the most villainous men around, so Xena has more than one reason to want to get the weapon away from them.  The other reason is that it was stolen from some friends of hers and she wants to help them out by getting it back.  Though Autolycus seems hesitant at first to go along with the plan, especially once he hears how little he will be paid, eventually he seems to grow a heart and agrees.

Xena dresses Autolycus up as Sinteres, the so-called “Warrior Philosopher” because of his habit of quoting Sophocles.  He is also known to be one of the most vicious killers alive, having supposedly once killed a man with a rose petal.  To keep an eye on her undercover thief, Xena goes along with him as his assistant.  That night they board the boat to Malthus’ island along with the other cutthroats.  It isn’t exactly a pleasure cruise, even after Autolycus urges Xena – or “Cherish” the concubine as he affectionately calls her – to change into something a little more sexy.  Within a short period of time not one but two of the other men are attacking Autolycus, out to prove that the great Sinteres isn’t all that great.  It takes some slick work on the parts of both the warrior princess and the king of thieves to keep themselves alive.  

They manage to make it to Malthus’ castle in one piece and accompany everyone to the hall where the weapon is being kept.  Malthus explains that he is selling it because he knows its secret and so does not fear it.  He does seem to fear the chest the weapon is in getting stolen, however, and has set up the tightest security an ancient Greek can manage (spider silk trip wires, weighted platform.)  Autolycus offers “Cherish” and her Dance of the Three Veils up as a diversion while he scopes out the so called security.  He presses a copy of Malthus’ key to the room using hot candle wax (clever).  

Later that night, Xena and Autolycus use that copy of the key to sneak back into the room with the chest, only to find that someone has beaten them to it.  Instead of the weapon on the platform, they find Malthus’ body.  They sneak back to their chamber, only to be summoned by guards a short time later.  Everyone has gathered around the discovered body of Malthus, and it looks like they are all currently suspects in his death.  When Xena and Autolycus go back to their room again to try to figure things out, they find a surprise on the bed – the chest.  Seconds later guards come to search their room and they have to do some quick (and sexy) thinking to throw off suspicion.  Afterwards they sneak the weapon back into the room where Malthus’ was killed (this is the super sneaky episode.)

The next morning everyone gathers to learn that the chest has been recovered and a demonstration of the weapon is planned for that afternoon.  There is a surprise in store for Xena and Autolycus first, when the real Sinteres shows up with a captured Gabrielle.  A bit of chaos erupts once Xena’s real identity is revealed.  She, Gabby, and Autolycus manage to escape with their lives, though Sinteres is loath to let them go.  But the escapees won’t go far, when there are lives at stake.  Xena and her thief companion break back into the castle to grab their clothes and weapons, while Gabrielle marks the trail to show where the weapon is being taken. She isn’t doing a very good job of being as sneaky as the others, and ends up caught by Sinteres again.  

Xena and Autolycus run into some trouble of their own, namely warriors out for their heads.  Autolycus offers to hold them off so Xena can go after the weapon.  She makes it to the cave where the weapon has been taken and finds Sinteres there, as well as Gabrielle and a group of very frightened villagers.  Fighting between the the two ensues.  Sinteres is a master of using pressure points, just as Xena is, and soon they are going after each other’s shoulders and legs with abandon.  At one point Sinteres seems to be about to win, but Xena manages to kill him instead.  Autolycus flies in (yes literally, on his little rope contraption) to help clean up the rest of the baddies, except for one idiot who decides to open the chest and see what this super weapon is all about.

Now comes a moment that is so very stolen from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark that we are going to pretend it didn’t happen.  Instead we will just say that the baddie is killed and Xena and the others finally manage to retrieve the chest.  They return it to the rightful owners, and Autolycus proves that though he is a thief and his ego is huge, his heart is pretty big too.

 Discussion from today’s reference material:
Aside from the scene stealing from Indiana Jones, and the fact that once again the Xenaverse seems to be operating along a historical timeline that makes no sense, this is one of the most fun episodes of the first season.  With Bruce Campbell hamming it up in his usual B-movie star fashion, he manages to steal every scene that he is in.  Even when I wanted to grind my teeth during the big ark reveal toward the end, I managed to get through it because there was Bruce doing his best to make a silly scenario work.  Though Xena was a dark show that needed to stick to its intense roots, it definitely benefitted from letting loose and allowing some laughter in once and a while.  

Never miss an update. Subscribe to Pink Raygun by Email or subscribe via RSS

About Melissa: By day a mild-mannered tv station receptionist, by night a fighter of crime and corruption in the dirty streets of Spokane, WA . . . or maybe not so much. More like a hyperactive, anal-retentive daytime receptionist and a melodramatic, hyperactive nighttime fangirl who only wishes she could be a fighter of crime and champion of justice (except that would lead to getting my super costume all dirty and I hate doing laundry.) Though my intent has always been to write bestselling novels and live a life of wealth and luxury, putting my talents for snarkiness and word doodling together while letting my geek flag fly suits me just fine – for now.

Related Stuff: