“I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee.” - Princess Leia

with Professor of Fangeekonomics, Ms. Melissa Voelker 
Reference Materials for today’s class:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Episode 1.16 – Mortal Beloved
 
Today, class, we will take a look at one of the relationships that meant a lot to Xena (at least in the first season) aside from the one she shared with Gabrielle.  When she lost her friend (lover?) Marcus, it shook her up inside for several reasons.  In part because she realized how much she cared for him, but only when it was too late to do anything about it.  And also in part because he had just turned to the good side when he met his demise, which she blamed herself for.  But luckily for the warrior princess, in the Xenaverse death hardly ever means someone is gone forever, and she is given a chance to set things right with her lost love.
 
 A summary of today’s reference material:
A ghost appears in the woods and frightens a young woman, who runs back to the village tavern to tell everyone what she saw.  Luckily Xena happens to be there having a drink with Gabrielle, and immediately says she will look into this here ghost.  It isn’t a shy spirit, appearing before her as she enters the woods.  In only moments she realizes this is the wraith of her deceased friend Marcus, who died episodes ago after turning to the good side.  He tells her he and the entire Underworld need her help, and she doesn’t even take time to think about it before she is off.  When Gabrielle tries to reason with her, Xena tells her the man she loves (um, wait, what about Hercules? and that guy in the one village with the kids?) has asked for her help and she must go. 
 
Using a secret underwater entrance to the Underworld (also very conveniently close to where Xena already was), the warrior princess travels into the land of the dead.  From Charon (the dude that boats people across the River Styx) she learns that something has gone seriously wrong in Hades.  All of the bad souls are in the Elysian Fields, and all the good souls have been relegated to Tartarus, which is backward from the way it is supposed to go.  Everyone does look pretty dour, but then they are dead, so maybe it is normal for them.  Xena finds Marcus and they share some warm fuzzy moments.  Then he fills her in on the rest of the bad news about Hades new regime.  Seems some wacko named Atyminius (who used to slice up maidens on their wedding days for fun) has stolen Hades’ (the god, not the place) helmet of invisibility and is using it to cause chaos all over the place.
 
Xena and Marcus wander into the Elysian Fields looking for the mad man.  Things there are certainly in an uproar.  It doesn’t take long before Xena starts running into the baddies she dispatched from the mortal realm.  They fill her in on a few more of the new rules of Hades (the place, not the god) after assuming she is dead like them.  She also learns that Marcus was put in Tartarus with the not so good guys after he died, and once he helps put things back to rights he will be stuck there with them again. 
 
Atyminius the psycho arrives and starts beating on his followers. Unlike the rest of the dead baddies, it only takes him a few minutes to realize that Xena is still alive.  He tries to rally his troops to kill her, but she throws suspicion off of herself by pointing a finger at him. By making everyone wonder why he gets Hades’ helmet and they don’t, she keeps herself from joining the ranks of the deceased.  Soon fighting between the baddies ensues.  Not one to play fair, Atyminius goes invisible and starts mutilating people.  Xena and Marcus use the chaos to escape from the Elysian Fields. 
 
The warrior princess decides she needs to talk to Hades, but that is easier said then done as his palace is guarded by harpies (set there by Atyminius.)  She and Marcus just barely manage to get past the winged menaces by starting one of them on fire. Then Xena verbally bitch slaps Hades for sitting around on his hands moping while Atyminius runs amok.  She tells the worthless god of the psycho’s plans to go back to the mortal world and resume his serial killing days.  This excites Hades into action (finally).  He explains to them that going to the mortal world with the helmet will make Atyminius mortal again, and then he can be re-killed.  Xena asks for herself and Marcus to be sent back up to the mortal world to do the job.  In order for this plan to work, however, Marcus needs to be a living person again.  Though he hems and haws a bit, eventually Hades is strong-armed into making Marcus a mortal again – for 48 hours.
 
 Atyminius arrives in the mortal world first and harasses Gabrielle, who he finds waiting for Xena.  She puts up a good fight with her staff (you go, little Amazon) but he ends up winning.  Luckily Xena and Marcus arrive back just in time to save Gabby’s life.  Atyminius goes invisible again (because he is just too much of a pansy to fight fair) and fighting ensues.  They chase him off and then have to go after him.  That night when they make camp and Gabby passes out, Xena and Marcus share some more warm fuzzy moments, which quickly become smoochy, touchy-feely moments.
 
The next day the trio finds a group of men who have been attacked by some invisible creature.  After questioning them, Xena and the others find out the men were headed to a wedding, which is where Atyminius will be headed too.  They arrive at the wedding party to find people stunned and confused after being attacked by something no one saw.  Xena convinces the bride’s father that Atyminius is after his daughter, and to let her pretend to be the bride at the ceremonial bathing so she will be the one attacked by the maniac.  Unfortunately, being invisible and all, he overhears their plan.
 
That night, while Xena supposedly goes off to be bathed, the bride stays home in bed. Atyminius sneaks into the bride’s bedchamber and goes in for the kill but Surprise! (well not really), it is Xena in the bed.  She had a feeling his invisible butt was lurking around, and managed to trick him.  Fighting ensues yet again.  Utilizing some mad blanket skills, Xena manages to kill him by throwing the blanket over him to show his location.  Then she takes Hades’ helmet and she and Marcus go back to the lake to return to the Underworld. 
 
At first Marcus doesn’t seem to want to give the helmet back though, as it could keep him alive and in the mortal world with Xena.  But he realizes the error of his thoughts pretty quickly, because Xena has taught him what it means to be a hero, and he agrees to take the hat back.  They go to Hades’ castle and are once again attacked by a harpy.
Using almost the same trick she used on the harpies before, Xena blows the winged menace up.
 
Inside the castle she demands that Hades put Marcus’ soul with the good in the Elysian Fields when he re-dies.  After a few minutes of hard arguing, Hades agrees to judge him again, though his bad deeds may still outweigh his good.  Xena speaks on his behalf, waxing poetically about the goodness in his soul and how he could have kept the helmet and been mortal again but he chose not to, and all that sugary stuff.  Eventually Hades agrees to let him go the Elysian Fields (this god of the Underworld is SUCH a pushover.)  Once again Xena and Marcus have to say goodbye, this time with some super smooches.
 
 Discussion from today’s reference material:
This episode has some of the worst special effects of the entire series (and that is saying a lot considering how bad they have been in previous episodes, such as “Prometheus.”)  Hades’ castle is rendered impossibly unbelievable via CG, and the harpies are some of the most ridiculous looking monsters of the series.  They look incredibly fake, and the scenes where Xena and Marcus are fighting them look very poorly put together, as they don’t synch up the real actors with the CG monsters very well.  This is an episode that should mean a lot in the Xenaverse, giving such a deep look into Xena’s heart.  But it is not just the cheesy effects that make it difficult to take this episode seriously.  The whole idea that Marcus is the man Xena loves is hard to swallow.  Sure they seemed close when she first met up with Marcus again after becoming a good guy, but this was shortly after her affair with Hercules.  Then there was that other guy in that village, whose name I can’t seem to remember but he did seem pretty important for a minute or two.  Plus when Xena meets up with Hercules again in the Prometheus episode they are still obviously smitten with each other.  So when is all of this Marcus lovin’ coming in to play?  I can see him being important to her as a friend and a lost possibility, but there is nothing that marks him as “the man she loves.” 

Never miss an update. Subscribe to Pink Raygun by Email or subscribe via RSS

About Melissa: By day a mild-mannered tv station receptionist, by night a fighter of crime and corruption in the dirty streets of Spokane, WA . . . or maybe not so much. More like a hyperactive, anal-retentive daytime receptionist and a melodramatic, hyperactive nighttime fangirl who only wishes she could be a fighter of crime and champion of justice (except that would lead to getting my super costume all dirty and I hate doing laundry.) Though my intent has always been to write bestselling novels and live a life of wealth and luxury, putting my talents for snarkiness and word doodling together while letting my geek flag fly suits me just fine - for now.