Smallville: Sleeper
By TrinityVixen
Other appropriate episode titles: “Snoozer,” “Dozey,” and “Boring.”
Some plot threads are revisited after the bomb (and Lionel Luthor) dropped last week to middling enthusiasm. The credits serve to remind people about the missing cast members. In the case of John Glover, it’s in memoriam, but Kristen Kreuk and Laura Vandervoort are actually still supposedly around some where. Let’s get back to that. (If we must, and because the show rises and sets by the glory of Lana Lang, we must.)
But first: would you believe Jimmy Olsen is a super spy? Yeah, even after this episode, the correct answer is “no.” NSA Agent P. Galore (her friends call her “Kitty”) corners Jimmy and tells him that all of Chloe’s disappearances and secrets-tellings are because she is a terrorist. Agent Galore ropes Jimmy into following Chloe’s movements in hopes of nailing her for any of a hundred thousand different bits of espionage. Currently on Chloe’s hacking to-do list: cracking some satellites to see if Brainiac and Kara left burn marks on the atmosphere as they hightailed it off Earth.
I call shenanigans over every complication with Chloe hacking some satellites because a) she says it’s out of her league (when she’s hacked every letter of every government acronym you could possibly think of) and has to get at a remote site for the access; b) she knows Oliver Queen, who should, given that he’s using Isis to store gear while he’s (alas) offscreen, at least give her the interstellar hookup from his company’s satellites; and c) she shouldn’t have to hack NASA when those bitches give all their good stuff away for free. (If the phenomena of atmosphere scorching didn’t interest NASA enough for them to reposition the Hubble, what the hell do we pay them to look at?)
On top of that, she and Jimmy somehow get into an exclusive club where they both play the “I know you know” dance of stupidity and one-up each other in giving each other the run-around. Agent Galore smacks Chloe around some, which makes Jimmy come to his senses. After sneaking around with more mad skills than Ninja James Bond, Jimmy somehow gets the drop on a supposedly trained field agent. He and Chloe fight until they’re too horny not to screw around despite the fact they each admit to trying to sabotage and hide from the other. Chloe is hiding Clark, Jimmy is hiding Lex. (If only they could get those two crazy kids together!) Specifically, Jimmy asks Lex to clear Chloe’s record with the NSA; Lex does, saying that there’s “no catch” for his services and then immediately demanding that Jimmy owes him one hell of a favor somewhere in the future.
And Clark? He’s trying to hear messages from Kara in the Fortress that are coming across time and space all the way from not-yet-blowed-up-yet Krypton. For some reason, she puts an emphasis on making known the obvious—“Brainiac is trying to kill you!”—and comes up short on specifics. (Like how the hell she went back in time, how Brainiac is going to kill Clark, that sort of thing.) Clark must find a way to get back to Krypton or perish. While I would lament the last seven years having been all for naught if Clark is unexisted by the actions of Brainiac, it would be a merciful end. I shudder to think of a Lionel and Lex-less season eight. Which is precisely what is in the works, thank you so much, Michael Rosenbaum.
(Shorter review from me this time after the last one veered into metaphysical territory previously unheard of when contemplating the soap opera train wreck of Smallville. I knew as soon as Chloe name-dropped “Rita Skeeter” I needn’t fear a tendon-cramping review this week. Nice to know I was right.)
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About TrinityVixen: There’s an asterisk on TrinityVixen’scollege transcript that assures anyone who reads it that, though there is no specific major, degree, or certificate for it, she did, in fact, complete some kind of creative writing program as an undergrad. Armed with that symbol of irrelevant experience, she has polluted the internet with her opinions and horrible fanworks ever since (and for quite a long while before). Living poor in New York until she finds a means to become independently wealthy, she must subsist on the juicy meat of fandom. Fandom and noodles. And instant soup.
