“I’d just as soon kiss a Wookiee.” - Princess Leia

with Professor of Fangeekonomics, Ms. Melissa Voelker
 
Reference Materials for today’s class:
Xena: Warrior Princess, Episode 1.15 – Warrior…Princess?
 
Though Xena was a darker, much more serious show thematically than its predecessor Hercules, it was not a show above devolving into some humor and silliness once and a while.  To prove this point, the writers created a series of progressively more ridiculous episodes that all revolved around Lucy Lawless playing two (or more) look-a-like characters.  This gave the actress a chance to be playful, demure, flaky, and even delicate, which the hardcore warrior Xena would never be.  Today, class, we will look at the first episode to utilize this trick and see if Ms. Lawless can manage to pull off playing two different characters at one time.
 
  A summary of today’s reference material:
Xena is called to the castle of King Lias and immediately upon arrival finds herself treated in a very unusual fashion (for her anyways.)  A handmaiden starts trying to pamper and dress her, which she isn’t too thrilled about.  Before she gets a chance to start smacking the handmaiden around for being overly familiar, the reason for the treatment becomes clear.  Xena and King Lias’ daughter Diana bear a STRIKING resemblance to each other.  (In fact they look so much alike it is hard to believe they aren’t the same person!)  It seems that someone is out to kill the fair princess before she can marry a prince from a neighboring country, and the king wants Xena to save her by pretending to BE her.  At first Xena is against the idea, as she isn’t out to play bodyguard for spoiled princesses, but eventually the king convinces her it is all for the greater good.
 
So Diana dresses up as Xena, though it is immediately clear from her posture (and the fact that she wants to put cute bows all over the armor) that she doesn’t have the warrior persona down.  And Xena dresses up as Diana, though her body language screams anything but demure and delicate princess.  Once their identities have been (in)sufficiently switched, Xena starts on her mission to find out who is behind the attempts on Diana’s life.  The first suspect she attacks turns out to not be a suspect at all, but Philamon, the brother of Diana’s fiancée (and the possible true-love interest of the princess.)  He seems a little suspicious of her behavior, especially when they are jumped by real attackers and she barely hides the fact that she is helping to kick their butts.
 
While Xena/Diana is trying to win over Philamon, Diana/Xena is on the road looking to meet up with Gabrielle.  Unfortunately when the two women find each other it is under the direst of circumstances.  Gabby is being attacked by a dirty ruffian (of course) and expects the warrior princess to save her, but this princess in warrior’s clothing has no idea how to save anyone.  After Gabrielle manages to beat the ruffian off, Diana tries to convince Gabrielle of her real identity, but the Amazon isn’t buying it at first.  She thinks it is all a test, but when Diana starts crying she is more willing to believe the truth.  
 
  As Gabby tries to keep Diana out of trouble, Xena continues to work on finding out who the would-be assassins are.  She suspects someone inside the castle is behind everything.  When Prince Mineus arrives to meet his prospective bride, the king tries to convince Xena to play sick, as there will be too many people at the welcome banquet who can rat her out as not the princess. But Xena wants to look for more clues and suss out who among the king’s people could be the prime suspect.  She doesn’t impress Mineus with her manners at the feast, and Philamon becomes even more suspicious of her.  Especially when she makes a scene over-toasting everyone, and then breaks all of the strings on Diana’s harp when asked to play it.  She does manage to come away from the banquet with a few would-be-assassins in mind, especially Lord Glauce, who won’t benefit from the abolition of slavery that will come about when Diana weds Mineus.
 
Out on the road, Diana is excited to be experiencing life as one of the “little people.”  She longs to share their simple joys, at least in theory.  When she and Gabrielle actually run into some of the “little people” she runs away in fear.  They are a poor family with no food, which at first Diana just can’t believe.  She doesn’t think anyone is starving in her kingdom, but these beggars say otherwise.  Gabrielle gives the family what little food they have, and Diana hands over her money to help out as well. 
 
Later that night Philamon confronts Xena, telling her he knows she isn’t Diana.  He also admits that he is in love with the princess.  Before they can get too involved with this can of worms, another attempt is made on Xena/Diana’s life.  This time Xena manages to catch the attacker and uses the Pinch to force him into admitting who his contact in the castle is.  He names the king’s General as behind it all, but when Xena, Philamon, and the king go to confront him they find the man dead, apparently a suicide.  Lord Glauce and the king commend Xena for stopping the plot against Diana, but the warrior princess looks like she still might be a little suspicious.
 
The king rides off to bring Diana home, who is full to bursting with her experiences among the “little people.”  She wants to help them and make sure no one else goes hungry in the kingdom, after learning they aren’t such “little people” after all.  Xena and Gabrielle take off and Diana prepares for her wedding to Mineus, while Philamon sulks.  A sudden revelation about the General’s suicide puts him on the alert that maybe the conspiracy against Diana’s life has not been solved, and he runs to tell the princess she needs to stop the wedding.  Diana refuses, but asks him to bring Xena back to the castle.
 
Lord Glauce plots Diana’s death by chandelier (oh that’s original) and Philamon finds Xena.  As he and the warrior princess rush to save the day, the wedding begins and is almost ended too soon when the chandelier falls from the ceiling and almost crushes Diana.  Almost, because Diana is really Xena and she manages to save herself and Mineus.  She is then attacked by Glauce’s men, and fighting (as always) ensues.  She beats the ruffians and stops Glauce from escaping.  On the road, still way too far away to make any difference, Diana/Xena and Philamon have a heart-to-heart talk and he admits his feelings for the princess and she admits that she IS the princess and that she has feelings for him as well.  Then they marry and get their fairy tale happy ending.
 
  Discussion from today’s reference material:
It is nice to take a break from the rampant death and destruction that can overwhelm this series at times, and this episode manages to be amusing even in its sillier moments.  Xena is never really believable as Diana, and Diana isn’t overwhelmingly believable as an individual most of the time, and yet it is fun to watch Lucy Lawless try to make both characters work.  It is also nice to see her in a different outfit once and a while.  I particularly liked the shortened wedding dress she has on at the end when fighting Glauce’s men.

Never miss an update. Subscribe to Pink Raygun by Email or subscribe via RSS

About Melissa: By day a mild-mannered tv station receptionist, by night a fighter of crime and corruption in the dirty streets of Spokane, WA . . . or maybe not so much. More like a hyperactive, anal-retentive daytime receptionist and a melodramatic, hyperactive nighttime fangirl who only wishes she could be a fighter of crime and champion of justice (except that would lead to getting my super costume all dirty and I hate doing laundry.) Though my intent has always been to write bestselling novels and live a life of wealth and luxury, putting my talents for snarkiness and word doodling together while letting my geek flag fly suits me just fine - for now.