Battlestar Galactica 1978 – The Young Lords
By Nancy Mathews
I grew up in the South Bronx so the name Young Lords has a lot of political connotations in my head. I didn’t quite know what to expect from this episode. I happily discovered it was the Starbuck episode of my dreams. Starbuck stranded on a planet, Apollo far, far away. . . ahh, the stuff fantasies are made of. It even had shirtless Starbuck and unicorns! What more could my inner tween ask for?
You know how we open by now right? This time Starbuck’s ship takes heavy damage. He’s been waxing philosophical as it is, so he takes this as a sign that his number is up. Boomer is not having it and finds a planet for Starbuck to land on and goes back to Galactica to get a rescue party together. Starbuck just has to sit tight on the planet.
On the planet’s surface we see the cylons have occupied a medieval looking castle. Their leader is a bit miffed that they didn’t take out the colonial warriors in space, but he has confidence that the one who landed will soon be captured.
Said warrior is hiding in a lake trying to avoid capture. He’s not doing a very good job however and is quickly discovered by the cylons.
The head of this outpost, called Attila, is Specter. He is an IL - series cylon like Lucifer. Though Lucifer is quick to point out he is a much older model. Specter reports in to Baltar assuring him that once the warrior is captured they will get the coordinates of the Galactica.
Starbuck is rescued by a group of warriors…or so it seems. They are actually a group of children on unicorn-back. They are led by the oldest brother whose voice and mannerisms remind me disturbingly of Doogie Howser.
Back on Galactica, Adama is ill. He has Cassiopeia as a guard dog/nurse, but Apollo does manage to get in to tell him about Starbuck’s latest drama. They all agree to send a shuttle with Apollo and Boomer to rescue him.
Starbuck is discovering that this little family, unicorns and all, have been tormenting the cylons. It seems that the cylons came in and killed everyone in their kingdom. They are the only ones left so they do their best to sabotage the cylons, whom they refer to as “tin cans”, as much as they can. Starbuck is impressed. Turns out he should be worried. Their dad is still being held prisoner and the kids have decided to trade the colonial warrior for him, ‘cause we all know how trustworthy the cylons are.
Judy Landers, who always struck me as the more intelligent Landers sister for some bizarre reason, is of course starting to fall under Starbuck’s sway. She tries to talk her brother out of his plan. He couldn’t care less. He tricks Starbuck into coming with them for an attack but Starbuck figures it out before too long. The trade will take place on water. The cylons send their boat toward the kids. We see that it’s actually a dummy in the boat - the dad is still on the shore being kept silent by his captors. The kids are devastated when the boat gets to them with no dad on board.
The cylons are a bit miffed themselves. It seems that hot sister did convince her brother in the end. They too have sent a dummy in Starbuck’s stead. Specter is not looking forward to explaining this event to Baltar. When he makes his report he tells Baltar that the warrior is seriously injured, but they hope to improve his health enough to get the information they need. By laying on the praise of Baltar nice and thick, Baltar totally buys it. Lucifer is not fooled, but when does Baltar ever care about his opinion?
Starbuck comes up with a plan to rescue the father. How else is he going to score with Judy? He has all the kids sing the plan, since it’s the best way to remember it:
Through the tunnel, under the land/Starbuck and Miri creep hand on hand.
We swim the moat to the petro dump/And blow it up with a great big whump!
At the bridge, the youngest daughter/Drops tin cans into the water…
BattlestarWiki has the full song if you feel the need for more.
So we see the montage of each child doing their part in the rescue mission while they are singing the steps as well. They get the Dad out.
Baltar calls and asks for an update. Specter tells him unfortunately the warrior died. He kisses some more ass and Baltar tells him they’ve done well in spite of this loss, but he must come up with a good excuse to cover them both. Specter tells him they are abandoning the settlement since, among other problems, the moist climate causes them to rust. He manages to never once let on to Baltar how things actually went on the planet. I think Lucifer underestimated this guy.
Apollo and Boomer arrive and find Starbuck. He cannot convince the family to join them on Galactica, so he says his goodbyes. Including an intimate goodbye with Judy. Boomer and Apollo look on in awe. “How does he do it?” Boomer asks. Apollo certainly has no idea.
They head home.
What we learned this week:
- Any story is better without Apollo.
- The Galactica universe likes it’s blond bombshells as much as ours does.
- Shirtless Starbuck, while no shirtless Helo, is definitely a pleasant sight.
- Yet another derogatory slur for cylons: tin cans.
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Nancy Mathews works very hard at masquerading as a grown up to go to work and raise her two sons. Once the sun goes down she reverts to the 10 year old that she actually is. You can follow her plans for world domination through the formation of an army of knitters on her blog, Bronxgirlknits.
