By Lisa Fary
George Lucas admits that he’s stopped trying to please his fans and that, if you previously liked the Indiana Jones adventures, they will be ruined for you if you see Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
In an interview in last week’s Entertainment Weekly, Lucas had this to say about resurrecting Indiana Jones:
“We’re only going to get aggravation. The fans think it’s going to be the Second Coming. And it’s not the Second Coming. They’ve already written the story in their heads, and let me tell ya, it’s not that story. So they’re going to be very disappointed. I went through this with The Phantom Menace. . . I know exactly how they react. And they’re very vocal about these things. We’re not gonna have adoring fans sending us emails about how much they loved the movie. We’re gonna have a bunch of angry people saying ‘You bunch of assholes, you should never have done this. You’ve ruined my life forever. I loved Indiana Jones so much and now it’s ruined.” All that kind of stuff.”
Awwwww! Are you gonna crrryyyyyy now?
It seems that Lucas fails to realize a key aspect to The Phantom Menace’s frosty reception: The Phantom Menace sucked.
A guy I know from work has two young sons who are getting introduced to Star Wars for the first time – dad was adamant that they watch them in the order they were made and was thinking about shielding them from the prequels, specifically from The Phantom Menace.
[nms:phantom menace,1,0]
It saddens me to know that future generations will never live in a world without the prequels.
It also saddens me that Lucas has, evidently, run out of ideas.
In the past thirty years, Lucas has pretty much been a two trick pony: Star Wars and Indiana Jones. There have been occasional executive producer forays into things like Labyrinth, Willow, and Captain EO, but the vast majority of his creative work has surrounded Star Wars and Indiana Jones, whether it was The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles or this upcoming Clone Wars movie or freaking Star Tours.
Gotta admit, I’ve always liked Star Tours (and it’s bastard cousin at Epcot: Body Wars. I don’t care what anyone says, Epcot is the best Disney theme park. Learning is fun).
Lucas also said:
“I’ve walked through the valley of death on highly anticipated sequels.”
Prequels, Lucas. Prequels.
Prequels that had no tension and destroyed characters. Darth Vader was scary when he was a hate-filled bad ass who killed his lackeys for poor work habits. I had nightmares about him when I was a kid. By the end of Revenge of the Stih, he became a misunderstood victim, a prime candidate for a guest spot on Dr. Phil.
And Obi-Wan! He was always kind of a douchebag with his, “Oh, I knew Vader was your father all along, Luke, but wanted to teach you a lesson about point of view, since you obviously didn’t get it in freshman English.” By the end of the prequels, Obi-Wan had left his best friend dismembered and burning by a river of lava. That’s completely changed the way I watch his death scene in A New Hope.
Previously, I joined Luke in his melodramatic (yet more believable than newly minted Vader’s) cry of “NOOOOO!” I now fall on the side of Darth Vader there – Obi-Wan had it coming.
Jerk.
Had Lucas done actual sequels, like after the Ewok rave at the end of Return of the Jedi, they might have been more successful.
[nms:ewoks,1,0]
In the end, my friend from work decided that he would show his sons the Star Wars prequels, including The Phantom Menace. The reality is that the boys would eventually be exposed to them at a friend’s house or online or something. “It’s best they learn about the prequels from me,” he said.
He probably won’t be put in the same situation when it comes time to introduce his kids to Indiana Jones. George Lucas says that dedicated fans wills be disappointed in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but he’s overlooking one very key aspect: George Lucas didn’t write or direct it. I’m confident that the talents of Steven Spielberg will save Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from a fate worse than The Phantom Menace.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
I’m confident that the talents of Steven Spielberg will save Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from a fate worse than The Phantom Menace.
I may have had my issues with Mr. Spielberg (I really HATED A.I.) but in the end I have to admit, he’s a great director (okay, so the only part of A.I. I HATED (all caps) was the end. And not the robot aliens, but the weird narration thing. Seriously what WAS that?).
I miss the days of THX 1138. But after Star Wars, Lucas never traveled down that road again.
“It seems that Lucas fails to realize a key aspect to The Phantom Menace’s frosty reception: The Phantom Menace sucked.”
Sing it, sister. I tried to like the prequels, I really did. They had a few good moments, but on the whole they were much too targeted at children who had no idea they were getting bad writing and worse directing. (I refuse to blame the actors, because I’ve seen them all do other things and they can all act when given the right material and decent direction.)
“I don’t care what anyone says, Epcot is the best Disney theme park. Learning is fun”
I love Epcot. Sure, the Magic Kingdom has better rollercoasters, but does it have jumping water or 3D movies?
“I now fall on the side of Darth Vader there – Obi-Wan had it coming.”
No kidding. I mean, okay, Yoda was a busy guy. He had better things to do than give pep-talks to whiny teens. But shouldn’t Kenobi — Anakin’s freakin’ teacher — have sat the kid down and told him, “Yes, you’re special, but you’re still very young. Be patient.”?! (Yes, I realize this would’ve created a plot continuity paradox, because then Vader wouldn’t have existed in the first place, but still. I’d like some better character motivation than the fact that he’s a self-centered emo boy who’s ignored by the guy that’s supposed to be tutoring him.)
“I’m confident that the talents of Steven Spielberg will save Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull from a fate worse than The Phantom Menace.”
I was really encouraged to see an interview (on the official movie page, I think) in which Spielberg basically implied that he wasn’t letting Lucas have any input beyond the main story ideas. He couched it in a way that sounded like he was being nice and taking some immense burden off of George by not asking him to write the actual script or help with the directing, but really he kinda told the fans, “Don’t worry. He’s not that involved. I won’t let him mess this one up.” I hope that’s as comforting to other people as it is to me.
I worked backwards from Indiana Jones to Star Wars as I fed my infactuation with Harrison Ford, so Star Wars was always all about Han. My vague doubts surrounding the new Indiana were crystallised when I read the first line of your article in my email subcription. No! Don’t let it be! Lucas can’t ruin it, please!!!!
Way to give a girl a heart attack, Ms Fray! I couldn’t click fast enough to read the awful truth. You are forgiven, though. The rest of your well-timed, well-written piece was reassurance enough – it’s going to be ok. Really it is. We won’t have to cover the kid’s eyes while we sit there, agape at the wrongness unfolding onscreen. But, just in case, I have a prayer we can all use:
Dear buddha please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket…and don’t let Indiana be a pile of poopy. So say we all.
Rhea – actually, the ending in AI was a Kubrick idea, surprisingly enough! It’s just that Spielberg takes to sappy endings like ducks to water.
Lisa – like you said, Crystal Skull is an actual SEQUEL, not a prequel. It’s funny, but whenever I think of the Star Wars movies, I remember the fact that he actually started making them at Part 4 of the story, which is what A New Hope was. And I want to smack him and say, “Do you know why you started there? Because that’s when the story got INTERESTING! No one CARES about backstory as much as they care about current conflict. The important part of the story isn’t that Anakin and Padme had a sappy love affair, the important part of the story is that Anakin became evil Darth Vader and was the father of the kid who was supposed to be the one hope for good! You could have told the story of all three prequels in one well-done flashback in the first trilogy. Done and done.”
He acts as though he “wanted to tell” this long, “important” story, but the fact is, he had no idea Star Wars was going to be as popular and long-lasting as it was, and when he saw that was the case, he wanted to squeeze more money out of the francise. Smart business move, to be sure. At the same time, good stories rarely come from good business decisions. Usually, it’s the other way around.
Also, I’m very happy he didn’t write or direct Crystal Skull. He’s notoriously a horrible director with actors – the actors in the first three Star Wars movies were great in SPITE of his direction – and he writes crappy dialogue – the actors were so good they sold his crap.
@Robin: Ditto
My apologies for the heart attack, higlet! I was going for a jaw-dropping attention grabber! I still have some doubts about Indiana Jones, but doubting is pretty much my natural state of being anymore after being so sorely disappointed by other sequels (and prequels).
Teresa – right there with you. I felt like everything that went on in the prequels should have been the domain of fanfic. (and fanfickers probably could have done a better job).
“Star Wars: Attack of the Clones” was the WORST movie going experience I have ever had!
(Others in this genre – “Moulin Rouge“, “Batman and Robin“)
These movies weren’t just bad, they ACTUALLY made me dizzy!
Watching it was like the effects of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster -
“Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.”
Except there was no slice of lemon and the brick wasn’t gold . . .
Rhea – actually, the ending in AI was a Kubrick idea, surprisingly enough! It’s just that Spielberg takes to sappy endings like ducks to water.
Ugh, ain’t THAT the truth. But I had NO idea that was a Kubrick idea, so thanks for bringing that to light.
And just a small tidbit if anyone cares: I take back that THX 1138 comment, cause after I wrote it, I discovered that he “updated” that movie as well, like he did for the original Star Wars flicks! What is he thinking? Is he SO insecure about his work that he has to go back and eff it up?!?