In part two of Round Two, PRGAAMWA judges Lisa, Brian, and John face some of the oddest movie pairings yet (and they owe it all to random seeding in Round One). Batman Begins against Angel-A? Mr. Bean’s Holiday against Pan’s Labyrinth? The outcome might not be what you expect.
Bracket Three
| Killers From Space vs. Confessions of a Superhero |
Lisa’s Pick: Killers From Space
I don’t feel right about mocking the “actors” in Confessions because they’re all so tragic and depressing. One guy seems to have had a break from reality, another is a pathological liar with a rage problem, and the girl reminds me of every female student I’ve ever had who ran away from home to escape an abuser. The only way Confessions could have been even more of a downer would have been for Chris Reeves himself to show up. |
Brian’s Pick: Confessions of a Superhero
Killers From Space is an iconic movie, but that doesn’t necessarily make it a good one. I’d love to have an action figure of one of the Marty Feldman-esque aliens on my mantle, but I’d rather just have an action figure of Marty Feldman. Confessions of a Superhero is a little too close to a freak show for my comfort, but at least it sparked some emotional response. These people (aside from the one dressed as Wonder Woman) have serious problems. I haven’t seen costumed vigilantes so close to the edge of madness since the last time I read a Frank Miller comic. |
John’s Pick: Confessions of a Superhero
The Film Crew’s snark coverage of the movie Killers From Space had some of the old MST3K charm going for it, but it felt like a pale imitation of Mystery Science Theater’s former glory. I doubt there’s any future glory for just about anyone featured in Confessions of a Superhero (yeah, you too, Morgan Spurlock) – but Confessions journey down the Boulevard of Breaking Dreams had me alternately rooting for, scared of, and sympathetic toward the people being profiled. Confessions wins. |
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| Round Two Winner: Confessions of a Superhero |
| Smokin’ Aces vs. The Iron Giant |
Lisa’s Pick: The Iron Giant
Oooohh. . . . we get the message, Smokin’ Aces. The feds are just as bad and unethical as the bad guys. I think we’ve reached a point where a genuinely nice, non-preachy family movie that doesn’t suck is more shocking than all the bullet blazing violence in Smokin’ Aces. |
Brian’s Pick: The Iron Giant
As much as I love the very idea of Ben Affleck’s corpse being turned into a bloody hand puppet by the future James T. Kirk, there’s just something about that big metal monster. Unlike most of America, I saw The Iron Giant in the theater. The dingy, dirty dollar cinema, maybe, but I made a special trip all the same. I didn’t know who Brad Bird was, but I wanted to see what the Hollywood schlock machine would do to Ted Hughes’ death defying poetry. Now I know who Brad Bird is, and I would gladly bear his children. |
John’s Pick: The Iron Giant
Smokin’ Aces didn’t have a single sympathetic or likable character in it’s ever-increasing line-up of double crossing scumbags, hit-men and careerists. Iron Giant had nothing but. Brad Bird does something almost suicidal in this movie – creates a near perfect masterpiece that is seemingly impossible to top with any next project. And then he went on and made The Incredibles. Oh yeah, this is also the flick that launched the career of Vin Diesel (but we won’t hold that against the Giant). |
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| Round Two Winner: The Iron Giant |
| Curse of the Golden Flower vs. 300 |
Lisa’s Pick: Curse of the Golden Flower
Curse of the Golden Flower is yet another example of misguided US marketing. I’ll watch just about any costume drama – I don’t need to be lured in with false hopes of non-existent martial arts action. Just call it what it is: a Chinese costume drama with backstabbing and royal tragedy. I dig that. While watching 300 nearly naked Spartans at battle was entertaining (and Dominic West in a toga was awesome), but it was surprisingly boring. There wasn’t enough story to fill the run time and the clunky switches from battlefield to home front were about as graceful as me trying ballet. Or walking. |
Brian’s Pick: 300
Chinese wire-fu can be meticulously choreographed and weepingly beautiful, but I knew all that by the time Curse of the Golden Flower came out. Like Jet Li’s Hero, it was all painting and no painter. But 300 was something new. Sin City didn’t convince me at all that the best way to translate Frank Miller’s testosterone bullet art and writing is by inviting a bunch of actors to hang around a blue screen. But where Robert Rodriguez failed, Zack Snyder succeeded. The movie of 300 is pecs and abs above the (admittedly mediocre) graphic novel. Kudos for that. And for assuaging my fears about his Watchmen adaptation. |
John’s Pick: 300
Curse of the Golden Flowers obsession with familial duty (I said duty again) and a woman’s place in a world of Wi-Fu and ceremony was, while pretty to look at (I haven’t seen this much yellow on screen since The Crow: City of Angels), dreadfully precious and more than a little bit boring. While 300 didn’t have much reason for it’s existence other than a series of increasingly bloody battles, it did an excellent job of translating Frank Miller’s artistic vision to live-action. Seeing McNutty’s giant face (Dominc West) from “The Wire” show up in a sleazy politician’s role kind of yanked me out of the picture – but the loin-cloth clad he-men brought the attention right back to where it belonged…the end of their bloody spears and swords. Put it back in your pants, Lisa. |
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| Round Two Winner: 300 |
| Batman Begins vs. Angel-A |
Lisa’s Pick: Batman Begins
I really do like Angel-A; it’s a nice mini-Reese’s cup of a movie that is filmed beautifully in black and white and tells a simple – and familiar, if you’ve seen It’s A Wonderful Life – story. But, after decades of disappointing Batman movies (I admit, I liked Tim Burton’s first Batman – I was in 8th grade and didn’t know any better), it was heartening to see Batman as the dangerous, damaged, dark character he is without being treated as a joke (George Clooney) or a pity case (Michael Keaton). Batman Begins isn’t just a good comic book movie – it’s a good movie, period. |
Brian’s Pick: Angel-A
Has anyone ever seen Christian Bale smile? I don’t mean in some kind of sociopathic, pre-homicidal way. I’m talking about genuine joy. It seems the guy never wants to take on a role that doesn’t call for him to be sulky, grumbly, or emaciated. That kind of misplaced intensity is exactly where Batman Begins went wrong. There’s a certain grin inherent in the idea of a man dressing up in a rubber suit to beat up criminals. (“But it’s armor!” No, it’s rubber. “But his ears hide antennae!” Yes. Yes, they do.) Any good Batman film needs to straddle the line between treating the character like a joke (Batman & Robin) and being in on the joke (Batman: The Movie). We know comics aren’t just for kids anymore, so let’s take Batman out of the ‘80s. Angel-A isn’t a great movie, but Batman Begins just pisses me off. |
John’s Pick: Angel-A
I hate having to make this choice. Batman Begins was one of my favorite super-hero movies in recent memory – Christian Bale made both a good Batman AND a good Bruce Wayne. Liam Neeson was believable as Ras Al Ghul, and Gotham City as a place of both extraordinary wealth and devastating poverty was amazing to see. But Batman Begins suffers from repeated viewings. Yeah, it makes sense that Bruce would need help developing Batman and getting his hands on the cool Bat-Tech, but was it really necessary for Batman to have two daddies with Alfred AND Morgan Fox in on the secret origin? And in trying for “realism” in a super-hero movie, we lose out on the fantasy-escapist elements that make super-heroes so appealing to begin with. Angel-A, showed me something different, and did it with beautiful imagery and an uncomplicated story. |
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| Round Two Winner: Angel-A |
Bracket Four
| The Prestige vs. Children of Men |
Lisa’s Pick: The Prestige
Let’s see. . . Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman AND David Bowie stand off against Clive Owen in a showdown of hot. Team Prestige totally wins that. Children of Men required far too many leaps of logic. Not willing suspension of disbelief, but willing suspension of reason, all of which I’ve detailed before. The Prestige requires you to accept the scientific possibility of Tesla’s machine, but everything else falls in line. |
Brian’s Pick: Children of Men
The Prestige is like a magic trick. I’m not talking about the kind of hokey CG slapdashery of something like Dungeons and Dragons. I’m talking about real magic: slight of hand, engineering, and misdirection. Unlike its rival film, The Illusionist, The Prestige is grounded in the kind of human reality that makes it something special. If only Bale and Nolan had teamed up this well on Batman Begins. But Children of Men is the kind of genre-busting science fiction film that will be remembered as a classic. Alfonso Cuaron is a master, and Children of Men will stick with us. Ask about it again in 20 years. You’ll see. |
John’s Pick: The Prestige
The entire time I was watching Children of Men I was wishing for a color palette and a sense of hope. Also, characters and societies that seemed natural and not created just to advance the story. The Prestige was filled with wonder, hope, magic and and ending I didn’t expect. And David Bowie doing his Goblin King magic as Nikola Tesla. |
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| Round Two Winner: The Prestige |
| Pan’s Labyrinth vs. Mr. Bean’s Holiday |
Lisa’s Pick: Pan’s Labyrinth.
Mr. Bean got eaten by the Pale Man. The Pale Man vomited him back up. |
Brian’s Pick: Pan’s Labyrinth
What the hell? It’s tempting to pull for the underdog in a matchup like this, but reality is reality. |
John’s Pick: Pan’s Labyrinth
Pan’s Labyrinth feels like it was plucked directly from the subconscious, like a fairy tale or myth that’s been told thousands of times before. And it manages to do it while being completely unlike any other fairy tale I’ve ever seen. Mr. Bean is enjoyable enough for what it is, but there really isn’t any contest here. Mr. Bean got lucky it faced off against Gravedancers in the first round. |
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| Round Two Winner: Pan’s Labyrinth |
| Flash Gordon vs. Slither |
Lisa’s Pick: Slither
As an adult, I now realize that most of my interior design influences come from Flash Gordon, as does my eternal desire for my own theme song (and fear of sticking my hand inside tree trunks). Even though Slither doesn’t have a Queen soundtrack or copious amounts of red and gold wall paint, it doesn’t have Sam Jones’ acting or Brian Blessed’s thighs, either. Although, Slither does have Nathan Fillion and Laura Bush. |
Brian’s Pick: Slither
If Queen had done the soundtrack to Slither, it would be the greatest movie ever. I’d even settle for a simple Queen album all about pustules and alien slime. Regardless, Slither is still a much greater movie than Flash Gordon, despite the latter’s rocking Queen soundtrack. Michael Rooker should get more work, especially if it means he’s buried under mountains of glistening latex mutant makeup. |
John’s Pick: Flash Gordon
Flash Gordon was one of the first movies I ever saw by myself at the movie theater (the other was Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in “Stir Crazy.”) Since it’s release on video, I’ve seen it once a year, every year. The new “Savior of the Universe” edition brought out all the detail and color I suspected were there, but never really saw. Slither, while fun and funny, was instantly forgettable to me – I can’t imagine turning to Slither once a year for a good-time rewatch. Flash wins. |
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| Round Two Winner: Slither |
| Hot Fuzz vs. 1408 |
Lisa’s Pick: Hot Fuzz
I don’t like having to choose between the creme brulee and the cheesecake. One involves fire and the other is freakin’ cheesecake. Why can’t I have both? Because it’ll stick to my hips and thighs. Granted, I’m not going to have Simon Pegg or John Cusack stuck to my butt (oh, if only) in the same way as too much creamy dessert. Despite Cusack’s performance, 1408 doesn’t have the same re-watchability as Hot Fuzz. Partly because the suspense is gone after the first viewing, but also because Hot Fuzz is loaded with layers of homage (and using cathedrals large and small as implements of death and impalement never gets old). |
Brian’s Pick: Hot Fuzz
Hot Fuzz is a satire of loud, dumb buddy cop movies that works as both a satire and a loud, dumb buddy cop movie. I love it. And how about that Timothy Dalton? He survived Flash Gordon, the TV-movie sequel to Gone With the Wind, and the obsolescence of mustaches to bestow this genius villain performance on the world. I had many mixed emotions upon seeing his chin impaled on a miniature steeple, the most surprising of which being empathy. I felt for that grocery store Mussolini. Anyway, the best that can be said for 1408 is that is was much, much better than expected. |
John’s Pick: Hot Fuzz
John Cusack is one of those actors who I’ve always kept an eye on. No, not like THAT. Ever since Sixteen Candles and Better Off Dead, right on through Grosse Pointe Blank and High Fidelity – yes, even The Road to Welleville – Cusack plays characters that I can identify with. They’re just this side of dark, and manage to survive through their persistence and sense of humor. 1408 fits perfectly in Cusack’s resume, but it’s a once and done movie. Hot Fuzz, on the other hand, has so much going on that it’s impossible to take it all in at once. Repeat viewings reward with new detail, and it’s just one of the funniest and most original things I’ve seen since ever. |
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| Round Two Winner: Hot Fuzz |
Round Three starts on Monday!
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![Pan's Labyrinth [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/21fvnciv6bl.jpg)
![Hot Fuzz (Combo HD DVD and Standard DVD) [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31rcfgrbxul.jpg)
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
