Today Lisa, Brian, and John take brackets three and four through the PRGAAMWA wringer. The movies still need at at least two out of three votes to move forward.
Bracket Three
| Film Crew: Killers From Space v. Stranger Than Fiction |
Lisa’s Pick: Stranger Than Fiction
Will Ferrel didn’t get naked for once and actually, like, acted. And there were baked goods. The Film Crew’s take on Killer From Space is a fading ember of their former MST3K greatness |
Brian’s Pick: Killers From Space
The guy who directed Stranger Than Fiction is responsible for both Halle Berry’s Oscar and the next Bond movie, which makes me simultaneously angry and worried. Mike Nelson shows me bad movies and makes me laugh a lot. |
John’s Pick: Killers From Space
Two films with split personalities. Except it’s deliberate with the Film Crew. |
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| Round One Winner: Film Crew: Killers From Space |
| Natural City v. Confessions of a Superhero |
Lisa’s Pick: Confessions of a Superhero
I don’t care what the box says, Natural City is not the Korean Blade Runner. Some interesting moments, but nothing we haven’t seen before. |
Brian’s Pick: Natural City
Korean androids or a Batman who will likely be jailed for domestic abuse? This one’s a toss-up. |
John’s Pick: Confessions of a Superhero
Confessions featured hopeful actors who dress up as the superhero they most closely resemble and panhandle…ummm…take photos with tourists in downtown LA. Natural City was so unmemorable I can’t even bring up an image of ANYTHING from the movie. Confessions wins – even if I want to punch Morgan Spurlock in the face for his obnoxious introduction to the movie. See, Morgan, it’s not your film, even if you did help produce it. Go eat a burger or find Osama or something. |
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| Round One Winner: Confessions of a Superhero |
| Smokin’ Aces v. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End |
Lisa’s Pick: Pirates!
Sooo. . . you’re gonna give me a blood soaked thrill ride then ask me to care about something at the end? You want me to have ethics after that much violence? Really, Smokin’ Aces? Pirates at least knew what is was: an amusement park ride. And it had Chow Yun-Fat. ARRRGG!!! |
Brian’s Pick: Smokin’ Aces
Is there any real competition between a dead Ben Affleck meat puppet and hundreds of millions of dollars spent perfecting computerized swirly drains? |
John’s Pick: Smokin’ Aces
Both movies had their problems, but at least Aces kept their problems contained to less than the 168 minutes of my life that Pirates took from me. Besides, Smokin’ Aces featured Jack from “Lost” in a role that I hardly recognized him in. |
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| Round One Winner: Smokin’ Aces |
| Superman The Movie v. The Iron Giant |
Lisa’s Pick: The Iron Giant
As much as I love Superman and Chris Reeves, he kinda blundered around until he stumbled on Lex Luthor’s plot. He wasn’t really proactive. The Iron Giant is a giant robot. I dig giant robots. At least, ones that aren’t brought to life by Michael Bay. |
Brian’s Pick: Superman
Why do you force me to make decisions like this? Without Superman there would be no Iron Giant. It’s a matter of seniority. |
John’s Pick: The Iron Giant
Superman did make me believe a man could fly…eventually. It took like, what? Four hours before he showed up on-screen and in costume? Besides, goofy Lex and Otis makes me cry. Iron Giant, on the other hand, makes me cry just by saying the word “Superman.” |
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| Round One Winner: The Iron Giant |
| Curse of the Golden Flower v. The Hitcher |
| Lisa’s Pick: Curse of the Golden FlowerI’m going with the one that didn’t misuse “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails. That’s not a car chase song, even if the car chase involves Sean Bean shooting every State Trooper in New Mexico. And, Sean, I love you, baby, but you do not live up to Rutger Hauer, the ultimate in crazed bad assery. And did we really need to see the dismemberment by semi? Really? |
Brian’s Pick: Curse of the Golden Flower
I’ve seen exquisitely photographed wire-fu nearly as much as I’ve seen Sean Bean play sinister. But I’m slightly less tired of one. |
John’s Pick: Curse of the Golden Flower
Maybe it’s just a cultural thing, but I really didn’t get Curse of the Golden Flower’s central problem. However, I’d rather be befuddled in an original sea of yellow than sit through another of a sea of unimaginative remakes. Besides, Sean Bean is no replacement for The Rugger. |
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| Round One Winner: Curse of the Golden Flower |
| Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer v. 300 |
Lisa’s Pick: 300
Jessica Alba looking like Turnpike Hooker Barbie (“I’m a scientist because I wear glasses with my tank top in some scenes!”). Gerard Butler and David Wenham in leather briefs. |
Brian’s Pick: 300
Stan Lee and Jack Kirby should put aside their differences (and mortality), rip off their shirts, and force Tim Story to dine in hell, where, not coincidentally, Fantastic Four 2 is run on a continuous loop. |
John’s Pick: 300
Two comic book match-ups. I walked out of one of them when it was in the theater at the first sign of pointless nudity that did nothing to advance a story, and everything to reduce a great character to a joke. And I sat through all of 300. |
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| Round One Winner: 300 |
| Barbarella v. Batman Begins |
Lisa’s Pick: Batman Begins
Barbarella is like Superman – she kinda blunders into everything. But, she has awesome costumes and gives a taste of the Dino de Laurentis goodness to come. Then there’s Batman as Batman should be. |
Brian’s Pick: Barbarella
Barbarella is a joy to behold but not necessarily to watch. However, there is a fine line between a dark, serious tone and a completely lifeless one. |
John’s Pick: Batman Begins
Barbarella played sci-fi for it’s camp value. Batman Begins treated it’s genre material with respect. Even though I detested Christian Bale’s gravely “Bat-Voice,” I loved every other aspect of the movie. |
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| Round One Winner: Batman Begins |
| Angel-A v. Severance |
Lisa’s Pick: Severance
I’ve been to many team building events. We could have used a guy stuck in a bear trap to help us learn teamwork. |
Brian’s Pick: Angel-A
Luc Besson is an artist who should throw himself into something great a little more than he does. Angel-A isn’t that, but at least it’s not another ha-ha-gory no-budget horror flick. |
John’s Pick: Angel-A
Angel-A, filmed in luscious black and white, made me sit up and take notice (might of had something to do with the Rie Rasmussen’s just-this-side of not being pornographic short skirts). But when Angel-A is revealed in all her Angel-ic glory, I quickly forgot about the skirt and worried for the future of the main character, André. Severance never stood a chance. |
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| Round One Winner: Angel-A |
Bracket Four
| The Prestige v. The Descent |
Lisa’s Pick: The Descent
The Prestige had David Bowie as Nikola Tesla and an ending I didn’t suspect, but The Descent gave me the kind of nightmares I hadn’t had since 28 Days Later. It made me scream and jump so hard that I pulled a muscle in my back. |
Brian’s Pick: The Prestige
The Descent was surprisingly cool. The Prestige is a puzzle picture that works beyond the puzzle. Plus, Bowie’s real-life powers of time and space are finally used on film! |
John’s Pick: The Prestige
The Prestige was like the cast and director from Batman Begins decided to play 1800′s dress-up, and invited David Bowie along just because it would be cool. The Descent featured spelunking chicks vs. each other and creepy cave-dwellers. Both movies deserve to advance, but I’m going to have to go with The Prestige for it’s way-cool ending. |
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| Round One Winner: The Prestige |
| Children of Men v. Yo-Yo Girl Cop |
Lisa’s Pick: Yo-Yo Girl Cop
So, if the entire population is dying off, wouldn’t something like the Human Project be a huge international investment? Wouldn’t it be in the global interests to try to make more babies? Why would it be secret? And Clive Owen didn’t even get naked? He got naked in Shoot ‘Em Up! Yo-Yo Girl Cop fighting crime with a yo-yo makes more sense. |
Brian’s Pick: Children of Men
Children of Men: The best movie of 2006. Yo-Yo Girl Cop: A silly title. |
John’s Pick: Children of Men
I hated Children of Men. So many plot holes, washed out cinematography and wooden acting. Seriously? A population with a zero birth-rate wouldn’t want all those immigrants around to do the dirty-work and dangerous jobs? Yo-Yo Girl Cop doesn’t aspire to be anything more than what it is…the tale of an undercover cop and her crime-fighting yo-yo of justice (with a dash of anti-bullying message thrown in). It’s silly, but Yo-Yo Girl charms with it’s simplicity. That being said, Children of Men is a stronger film. |
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| Round One Winner: Children of Men |
| Pan’s Labyrinth v. 3:10 to Yuma |
Lisa’s Pick: Pan’s Labyrinth
Ben Foster in 3:10 to Yuma was almost as creepy as the Pale Man. But, Pan’s Labyrinth had fairies and Doug Jones and subtext. |
Brian’s Pick: Pan’s Labyrinth
3:10 to Yuma was serviceable and rentworthy. Pan’s Labyrinth worked wonders with latex and pathos. |
John’s Pick: Pan’s Labyrinth
I’ve been to Yuma. I’ve also been to Spain. Pan’s Labyrinth showed me things I’ve never seen before, 3:10 to Yuma was a remake. |
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| Round One Winner: Pan’s Labyrinth |
| Gravedancers v. Mr. Bean’s Holiday |
Lisa’s Pick: Mr. Bean
I don’t care if liking Mr. Bean’s Holiday makes me old. Rowan Atkinson is a comedy genius. |
Brian’s Pick: Mr. Bean
Does anyone in America know that either of these movies was ever released? At least Mr. Bean is good for muting in a hotel room when you’re trying to go to sleep. |
John’s Pick: The Gravedancers
I can’t help it. Mr. Bean’s Holiday deserves to win, but if I’m going to be anything close to consistent, I’ve got to give this round to Gravedancers, as Mr. Bean has no genre cred going for it. Uggh – Gravedancers wins. |
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| Round One Winner: Mr. Bean’s Holiday |
| Flash Gordon v. TMNT |
Lisa’s Pick: Flash Gordon
Glitter dresses, shiny red lycra, and hairy guys in leather briefs. Or, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The CGI Turtles were far better than dudes in foam suits and Vanilla Ice, but what can match the wonder of a post-Playgirl Sam Jones saving every one of us? |
Brian’s Pick: Flash Gordon
The Ninja Turtles are, in fact, sillier than you probably remember. Flash Gordon, however, is exactly as silly as you remember. |
John’s Pick: Flash Gordon
TMNT was a fun bit of fluff with excellent animation. April O’Neil graduated from annoying presence to butt-kicking beauty, and there was no hint of Vanilla Ice. Flash Gordon, however, is just plain awesome – and made even more awesome on the newly remastered release that came out last year. Flash Gordon flies blind on his rocket cycle into the second round. |
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| Round One Winner: Flash Gordon |
| Mikadroid: Robokill Beneath Discoclub Layla v. Slither |
Lisa’s Pick: Slither
All Mikadroid has going for it is a lame massacre beneath the equally lame Disco Club Layla. Slither has disgusting sluggy things and Nathan Fillion. |
Brian’s Pick: Slither
If box office totals are any indication, you probably haven’t seen Slither. In which case, you have now been given a mission. |
John’s Pick: Slither
Mikadroid just may have the most awesome sci-fi title ever, right up there with Jerry Stiller’s “What Planet Is This (Oh My God It’s Earth!)” from the movie The Independent. Slither has slime and aliens and zombies and all kinds of icky awesomeness. It’s also got Nathan Fillion and Jenna Fischer, so it’s got to win. Slither…uhhh…slithers into round 2. |
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| Round One Winner: Slither |
| Hot Fuzz v. The Messengers |
Lisa’s Pick: Hot Fuzz
The titular messengers were very confused – if they were trying to warn the family about a murderous Chris in the Morning, why were they so hostile? Here’s a hint, dead people (I’m talking to you, John McCain): If you want to new residents to listen to you, don’t try to drag them into the basement and make stains on the walls. That’s annoying. |
Brian’s Pick: Hot Fuzz
I saw Hot Fuzz thrice during its theatrical run, and it’s still funny enough to kick an old lady in the head. |
John’s Pick: Hot Fuzz
I hate it when I can tell what the ending of a movie will be before it’s even half over. That’s a sure sign that the writing is unimaginative. Alternately, I love it when I see reference after reference to other films that have gone before, yet I still have no idea what’s going to happen until it does. Hot Fuzz masterfully pulls off this last one, re-appropriating entire scenes and chunks of dialogue from just about every action movie ever made, and cobbling them together into something completely new. |
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| Round One Winner: Hot Fuzz |
| Zathura v. 1408 |
Lisa’s Pick: 1408
Kids learning a life lesson about loving siblings or John Cusack locked in a haunted hotel room for an hour with a bottle of scotch and ghosts? I’ll take The Cusack. |
Brian’s Pick: 1408
Thank you, Zathura, for teaching Jon Favreau how to make Iron Man. Thank you, 1408, for reminding me that John Cusack is still awesome. |
John’s Pick: 1408
I like board games – they’re pleasant diversions. I also like hotel stays – usually they indicate I’m on vacation somewhere (and I really like vacations). Since I like vacations more than I like board games, 1408 wins. |
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Round One Winner: 1408
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Tomorrow, we start Round Two of the 2008 Pink Raygun Association of Associated Movie Watchers. . . Associated Tournament!
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![Smokin' Aces (Combo HD DVD and Standard DVD) [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31swshkvdhl.jpg)
![Curse of the Golden Flower [Blu-ray]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31ehda8lqpl.jpg)
![300 [Blu-ray]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/315-tqh6mxl.jpg)
![The Prestige [Blu-ray]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/21pznz8zmbl.jpg)
![Children of Men (Combo HD DVD and Standard DVD) [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31shwtv4erl.jpg)
![Pan's Labyrinth [Blu-ray]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31sdgih%2bqgl.jpg){kind=small}
![Mr. Bean's Holiday (Combo HD DVD and Standard DVD) [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31numeogbll.jpg)
![Slither (Combo HD DVD and Standard DVD) [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/319p2226cml.jpg)
![Hot Fuzz (Combo HD DVD and Standard DVD) [HD DVD]](http://www.pinkraygun.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/31rcfgrbxul.jpg)
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
