“I can kill you with my brain.” - River Tam, Firefly

by Wolfen Moondaughter
And once again, Martin Gero hits it out of the ballpark! Yes, almost the entire episode took place in one room, with only three people, and you know what? Gero proved he could keep me completely enthralled nonetheless. I was grinning so much my face was hurting by the end!

I loved seeing how clever (and geeky) these three could be, and we also got some fantastic character development out of it. Lots of great give and take, all around. In particular, I’m glad Rodney and Sam didn’t clash over science; I love how well they’re getting along in that regard, particularly since it was a worry of mine, when I first heard that she was going to join the cast, that they would. It’s nice to see so much Sam, as well as get to know Keller better. And how can I not love the spotlight being on Rodney, especially when it involves him getting “whumped”? Definitely another fave ep for this season, which is by far my fave season of the series.

4.16: “Trio”

The story opens with Keller and Rodney filling Sam in on the situation on a planet they visited; Sheppard, having been on the mission with them, is tagging along for the report. The planet is the site of a mining operation, which has weakened the ground beneath the settlement of the miners, causing daily quakes, as well as filled the air with toxins. Rodney and Keller argue over which is the worst of the two problems for the world’s inhabitants, with Sam chiding them that it’s not a contest. At any rate, it seems that the Genii were the ones who employed them as miners a while back, until the deposits were tapped out. (Sam seems surprised to learn that they were miners at this point, despite Rodney having mention it already earlier in the scene.) Now the miners are unwilling to accept that the quakes that have plagued their home are really signs that they should move to safer ground; they believe that the Atlantians are just trying to get them to move so that they can take over the mining operation themselves. (Clearly the poor air quality has addled their brains.) They want a cut and have a long list of demands. Now Rodney and Keller want Sam to negotiate with the people. (Bet they’re wishing Weir were still around! Not really sure what need there was for John in the scene, but I’m definitely not going to complain that he was there, especially since it allowed for another amusing “lollipop” moment. Is there a running gag regarding those this season or what? They should have had Todd try one.) Sam agrees to go — but she insists that Rodney and Keller go with her (which makes sense, since they’re the ones with the first-hand scientific knowledge of the dangers).

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As they walk to the settlement, Keller remarks on how winded she is, saying that she needs to do more cardio and asking why they couldn’t have taken a ‘jumper. Rodney snaps at her to suck it up (sounding remarkably like John or Ronon in the process, heheheh). He claims that he has “to hike this much almost every day.” Sam and Keller are skeptical, of course, Keller pointing out that his latest physical would suggest otherwise. He lays into her for revealing private medical matters in casual conversation. She argues that it’s not exactly a secret; he protests that, while he might not end up on the cover of Shape like Ronon, he’s good enough to be able to hold his own in a fight and stand his ground — and then he falls as the earth collapses beneath him. We get to look over Sam and Keller’s shoulders as they carefully look down into the hole, revealing that McKay has fallen over twenty feet, into a room of some kind. (It seems rather unbelievable that one could fall so far and not sustain serious injury; for drama’s sake, I’ll just have to accept that the boxes and dirt he fell on, added to the padding of his tack vest, helped. And enjoy the Rodney-whumppage, of course.) A moment later, the earth collapses under Keller and Sam as well. (When we see all three of them from above, after the commercial break, Rodney is lying face down, where as, when we looked down on him before, he was face-up. The way he’s laying now, especially in comparison to his pose before, he looks as though he fell that way, rather than rolled over. Curious.)

Keller warns her companions not to move if they feel any sudden, sharp pain. Rodney mumbles into the ground that he never would. As the struggle to sit up, Sam says at least none of them are bleeding. “At least externally,” Rodney says bitterly through clenched teeth. Keller says the place is a tetanus shot waiting to happen (*snort*), then wonders where they are. Rodney conjectures, dripping sarcasm, that they’re in the Genii mining facility. (I’m starting to think the Genii give them more grief, indirectly and otherwise, than the Wraith!) Sam quips that they just don’t build ‘em like they used to; “I am particularly not fond of the ceiling work,” Rodney replies darkly, pointing skyward. (Perfect delivery! Actually, extend that opinion like a blanket, over the whole episode; no matter whether Rodney’s being snarkastic, or nervous and vulnerable, or a complete jerk, Hewlett’s performance throughout the ep is exemplary. In fact, this ep is a showcase of the infinite reasons why I love this character and this actor. For example, I love the pure, undiluted, Ill-Humoured!Rodney of this scene. When he’s at his worst, he’s often at his best, at least comedy-wise. Oh, and Tapping’s Carter and Staite’s Keller are really good too!)

There are two doors, one blue, the other red. Rodney goes to open the red, but Sam figures red means bad, and Rodney says he can’t argue with that logic. (I’m happy that he doesn’t, really, that he’s grown comfortable enough with Sam to concede more points to her.) They quickly determine that they can’t open the blue door, though: it has a keypad lock. Rodney and Sam both say something about it being electronic (and I can’t understand them!), speaking to Keller at the same time. “What he said,” Sam says, Rodney a beat behind her with, “What she says.” (*Snicker* They’re so adorable when their on the same wavelength — much like Rodney and Radek or Rodney and John, really.) “I mean, it’s not impossible, though, right?” Sam asks; “No. No, it’s just … highly, highly unlikely,” Rodney replies unhappily. (What is??) They move their attention back to the red door (with me protesting that Sam just said it was bad — Keller looks like she agrees with me). This door, instead of having the keypad entry, has the kind one would find on a submarine air lock, a wheel to be turned. Rodney and Sam can’t get it open at first, but Sam spots a long, thin pipe, and they put it through the handles, using the pipe as a lever (clever trick #1). It works, but before they actually swing the door open, Keller protests that they said that door was bad in the first place (thank you for addressing that, even if it’s a touch late), worrying that there are toxic gases on the other side. Having heckled Keller (quite amusingly) about fearing monsters a moment before, Rodney is less than eager to open the door now; Sam decides it’s worth the risk. The door opens into a vast cavern, complete with a deep crevasse right under the door. (Man, that’s dizzying — nice work, effects team!) We can see buildings across the way, on metal stilts. “Well, I guess ‘red’ is Genii for ’screwed’,” Rodney quips.

Sam figures they may as well just wait the five hours until their next check-in; when they don’t do it, Atlantis will send someone to look for them. As she speaks, Rodney takes another look at the keypad (reminding me a bit of Katie Brown in “Quarantine” in the process). Sam asks Rodney, in confirm this for me tones (since she should have a fair knowledge of this herself), if their radios will work where they are; Rodney distractedly assures her that they will. (It’s a question that the audience would ask, so it’s good to get it answered. And while it might had made more sense to have had Keller ask it, it’s nice to see Sam asking Rodney’s opinion, to even the playing field out a bit between them, given their history in SG-1.) Keller’s not too thrilled with the notion of sitting and waiting (nice call-back to “Quarantine”).

There’s a small quake, sending dirt down on them and making an awful squeaking sound. Sam asks Rodney what he thinks the likelihood is that the room they’re in is on stilts, like the other rooms they saw out the red door; “Very high,” Rodney replies. Keller suggests that their room might still be sturdy. Sam points out that, between them and the dirt, they’ve added about three to four hundred pounds; she looks to Rodney for confirmation. (Lessee, about 105 plus 125 plus … 140? So at least 370 with just them alone, never mind the dirt!) Rodney looks down at himself and says, somewhat meekly, “Uh … I’d say like, five hundred.” (Awww, bless him!) After she asks him how often the tremors occur, Sam conjectures that, with the added weight, the supports are going to quickly give out; she and Rodney decide that they can’t just wait for rescue after all. (Man, they’re having a Murphy kind of day, eh?) They all look at the hole in the ceiling. (Let me just take a moment to say that I love this set!!)

Keller points out that they have a lot of large wooden crates available. “Yeah, rickety old ones! I killed like three of them on the way down!’ Rodney says ruefully. (I love his tone here. And that point might help explain how he survived the fall, although it doesn’t explain how the girls did. Ooh, I hope they didn’t land on him! Ow!) Keller suggests that they stack the crates into a pyramid to climb out (clever trick #2); Rodney protests that there aren’t enough of them, but Sam insists that there are, actually. (Poor Rodney; I wouldn’t trust climbing the things either, but then, it’s not like they have a lot of options.) They get to work moving and stacking, with Keller wisely shoveling what she can of the dirt out the red door. After a while, Rodney insists that, in order to get the pyramid the twenty feet or so high that they need it to be in order to climb out, the structure will be too unstable. Sam points out that only one of them actually need climb out. They look at Keller (the most obvious choice, being the lightest). She protests that she can’t handle heights (as we know from “Missing). Rodney tells Sam that she’s got to do it then. “You’re not even going to put yourself up for it?” she asks, shocked. (Hey, lady, you looked to Keller instead of offering to do it yourself; why should he be any different? And, ah, really, why are you surprised? Well, except for maybe figuring that his crush on you might make him not want to risk you. Which, again, McKay we’re talking about here. *Snicker* Besides, you’re lighter than he is!) Rodney protests that he probably has even more height issues than Keller. (The amusing thing being that it seems Tapping is actually the one out of the three actors who is truly afraid of heights.) They get back to work, Sam climbing up what they have so far, and Rodney taking crates from Keller and lifting them up to Sam. (Yay, Rodney and manual labour! Ahh, if only Sheppard and Ronon could see him now! Well, save that Rodney would probably shirk the work off to them ….)

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The pyramid creaks ominously; Keller decides it’s not a good idea after all and suggests Sam climb down. Sam climbs up instead — and the crates collapse. (I immediately think she had to have broken something, but I’m wrong — this time. Love how Rodney calls out to her, though! And notice how it takes him a moment to get moving. It’s a thing of his I’ve noted before; he has a hard time springing to action, being more of a mentally-oriented person than a movement-oriented one. I’d be the same way, I’m sure.) She’s nursing her side, but Sam seems fairly okay. Satisfied that she’s all right, Rodney tells her that the bottom level can’t hold the weight; she tells him she knows. (At least she refrains from calling him “Captain Obvious”. *Snicker*) Another quake tells them that they need to come up with another solution — fast.

Searching the room, Keller finds some files written in Genii, and wonders if maybe the code for the door is included in them. (I really wish I could have understood that other scene earlier — how would the code work without electricity?) Rodney finds something that can be made into a grappling hook (clever trick #3). (I’m awfully curious as to what the thing, which is like two grappling hooks connected by a bar, was originally supposed to be! Part of a crane, maybe?) Rodney conjectures that they need about twenty-five feet of material for rope, and figures that they can tie their clothes together to make it (clever trick #4). While Sam scrounges around some more, Keller quickly takes her jacket off, tossing it in front of Rodney. He looks up at her in surprise, and she starts to pull her shirt up. Just then, Sam finds some rope. Rodney’s disappointment in her timing is readily evident. (I almost feel sorry for him! Forgive the internet lingo, but ROFLMAO is really the best way to describe how I feel about the scene. Since you’re all reading this on the net, I think it’s a safe bet you know what that means, and if you don’t, just “google” it. *Wink*)

Rodney goes to tie the rope to the hook when Sam stops him, saying that she can’t climb it. “Now that’s just quitter talk,” Rodney admonishes her. (*Snicker*) She elaborates that she can’t climb it without knots in it to grab onto. (Hmm. I remember when they made us climb a rope that wasn’t all that much thicker, and to a similar height, in grade school, and there were no knots in it. Granted, I never managed to actually climb it myself, but most of the other kids did. Heck, Rodney climbed knotless ropes in “The Brotherhood” and “The Tower”, if memory serves; make him do it!) He’s not enthusiastic about the idea of all that tying, so he leaves Sam and Keller to the task, pointing out that three people can’t knot the rope at once and he’s the only one who can read the Genii papers Keller found. (He has a point, and it’s not like he didn’t work his butt off earlier with the pyramid, yet I still want to smack him upside the head, a la Sheppard. Love how he says “Unless either of you speak Genii …” though. Well, save for that it should be can read Genii, not speak it.)

As Sam and Keller get to work on knotting the rope. Keller suggests that they play 20 questions; Sam’s not interested. (Apparently there was supposed to have been a little mention of Sam and Jack at this point, but it was cut for time; Mallozzi promises to share the scene with us at his blog on Monday, February 11th.) Keller tries another game, asking Sam if she would choose Brad Pitt or George Clooney; Sam chooses Clooney, Keller chooses Pitt. (I’m with Keller. Perhaps it’s a generational thing.) Sam has a go, but Keller has no clue who Sam is talking about: the men in question are both physicists. (Of course, I would have assumed Brian Green was that actor, Brian Austin Green, from 90210, save for that I could never see Sam watching that ….) Keller randomly picks one; of course Sam heartily disagrees with the choice. (She seems clueless to the fact that Keller still has no idea who she’s talking about. How cute — I love seeing Sam’s geeky side!) Rodney recognises the names Sam gave and approaches, complaining that one of them stole an idea from him. (Why am I not surprised?) Keller “ropes” him into the game, asking who he would rather sleep with, Redford or Newman. “Uh, neither?” he replies, baffled. “Yeah, I know, but if you had …” she presses. “If I had to — so I’m to choose … which one of those guys to force themselves on me because—?” She says that it’s just a game, asking if he’s not secure enough in his masculinity to play. He insists that he is, but his task is more important, and turns away. (The McShepper in me is going wild over this scene. If he were having an illicit affair with the colonel, of course he would be reluctant to admit to any attraction to men. *Wink* Yes, I know, there’s no McShep — let me have my fun! Besides, maybe he’s just not attracted to Redford or Newman. Too, too funny.)

As Keller and Sam continue chatting, both choosing Newman (I have to agree), Rodney gets a wide-eyed look on his face, glancing upwards. He tells them to shut up; Keller misunderstands, and snaps that they’re allowed to talk. He explains that he hears something. Now we and the girls hear it too: children playing above. McKay shouts for help. Keller worries that the ground might collapse under the kids. Rodney tells her (and us) that the part they themselves fell through was rusted, but that the rest of the ceiling looks fine. Sam agrees. A pair of kids hear them and peer into the hole. Sam explains who they are; one of the kids tells them that they shouldn’t be down there. Rodney tells them that they fell in by accident. The other kid asks if they’re okay; Rodney assures him that they are, they just need help. The first kid says again that they shouldn’t be down there; Rodney quickly loses patience with the brain trust (as would I, in those circumstances); Sam cuts in, asking them to go get their parents. The kids refuse — they aren’t supposed to be out there playing in the first place. Sam assures them that they won’t get in trouble, but the kids still won’t cooperate. Keller pleads that they’re hurt; unfortunately, the second child remembers that McKay said they were all right. Rodney starts sounding like an angry father, telling them that they’d better do as he says. (Heh, maybe he would make a good parent after all. *Wink*) Sam cuts him off, and tries to bribe the kids by promising to get them whatever they want. As the kids discuss it, Rodney suggests to Sam that perhaps she should flash them her tits (without actually saying it, but it’s obvious that’s what he means). “Excuse me??” Sam says. He explains that he was a ten year-old boy once, he knows what would get their attention. (And, well, like I’ve said before, Rodney seems to be very drawn to breasts. Still, it probably would never have occurred to him to even suggest Sam do this if Keller hadn’t been so quick to start taking her shirt off.) He makes a tit-flashing gesture to reiterate what she should do. (Forgive me again, but ROFL!!) “McKay!” Sam snaps, scandalised; he protests that if she wants to get out of there, she should do it. She insists that they can reason with the kids without resorting too such tactics. He rolls his eyes, dejected, says “If you say so,” then turns to Keller, an expect look on his face. (*Dies* Oh, where’s Sheppard to smack him when he really needs it?) Keller looks skyward, shaking her head slightly. (Damn, this is even funnier than “Harmony”!) The kids, meanwhile, must have decided there was either nothing they wanted or that the adults were trying to pull a fast one; they announce that they have to leave, and run off. The brainless one peaks his head over the lip as an afterthought, wishes them luck, and leaves again. Aggravated, McKay starts to ask Sam if it would have killed her to flash her tits; she snaps at him to drop it.

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(I’ve seen a lot of complaints from people offended by this scene, and I do see the offensive side — but only to a point. Yes, okay, that was very unprofessional of Rodney, but he’s never really been a paragon of professionalism, has he? I think he’s important enough to the expedition — and, more importantly, good enough friends with Sam — that it wouldn’t even occur to Sam to file charges. Believe me, I have heard of far, far worse encounters with celebrities, and celebrities don’t potentially hold the fate of the universe in their hands. Besides, his behavior here was distinctly more juvenile, and therefore less threatening, than any sexual harrassment I have ever personally experienced or known of. I’ve also had friends/co-workers make stupid, goofy suggestions like his, especially the geeky ones like him: I knew they were just being stupid, insensitive asses and not intending harm or intimidation, so I simply swatted them for it, and we moved on. They were good people deep down, and so is Rodney. Not saying it was right of him to suggest it, much less harp on it — absolutely not! — but I definitely don’t think it was a heinous crime on his part, nor did I see it as out of character. He was trying to get them out of there, thought it was a legitimate method because he’s too socially-stunted to consider that it would be improper to suggest it, and wouldn’t have suggested it any other circumstance anyway. Plus I don’t think he was thinking of Sam as “boss” there so much as “a friend I am stuck in a hole with”. And, well, maybe he was getting back at Sam, subconsciously, for denying him his legitimate chance at seeing Keller shirtless. Can’t hormones mess with a man’s head and make him a bit unreasonable? Can’t he be forgiven for that, so long as he doesn’t take things too far? He’s obviously not going to follow Sam around, pestering her to flash everybody, when they get back to Atlantis or something. And no viewer is going to think that it’s okay to do that in real life, so it’s not like he’s setting a precedent. Yes, it was inappropriate — that’s why it was funny to me! And I hope Sam totally lays into Rodney later for it. *Grin*)

Sam sighs that they have four hours and fifty minutes left to wait. McKay warns that he could go crazy down there, bringing up how he was trapped in a ‘jumper a couple of years back. (”Grace Under Pressure”. Reminding Sam that you hallucinated about her doesn’t seem like a good idea, McKay — especially if you accidentally tell her that you fantasised about her being in just a bra ….) Sam cuts him off, saying that that’s nothing compared to being stuck in a transporter with Zelenka for three hours. Rodney asks if she means she doesn’t like Zelenka. She hedges that she’s just saying it was more claustrophobic than their current situation. (Heh, as well it should be, considering they are in a very big room right now!) Rodney points out that she emphasised “Zelenka”, as if that were the hard part; Keller agrees. Sam tries to deny it, but Rodney says it’s okay if she doesn’t, adding with a smile that he doesn’t like the guy either. (I feel a flash of disappointment at this statement, deep in the gut, but I understand it. Well, more on that in a second …) Keller remarks that Zelenka unique, but adds that the man is always telling her that her hair smells nice, and that it’s kind of weird. Sam insists that Zelenka is very good person. “Sure, sure, sure, he’s the best — you just don’t like him!” Rodney says happily. Sam vehemently denies saying that. Rodney says that he knows which of them is her favourite now; Sam inists that it’s not a contest. (Nice call-back.) “Everything is a contest,” Rodney replies dryly. (Another great delivery. And that attitude of his is certainly very in keeping with his competitive history and his penchant for betting! At any rate, I’m sure that part of his telling her that he doesn’t like Zelenka was a matter of getting her to admit that she likes him better, and part of it is a genuine dislike of Radek, at least in as a rival. I think he does like Zelenka too, deep down, but it’s not in him to actively like his competition, so he’s compartmentalising. Really, right or wrong, it’s very human to complain about others, even one’s friends, when they aren’t around. Radek made some disparaging remarks about Rodney in “Quarantine”, after all, so this is a bit of semi-fair turnabout. On the other hand, I can see Zelenka coming off as “sweet but creepy” to the girls; I think Sam genuinely dislikes — not hates — him, at least in the sense that she wouldn’t really be friends with him, just co-workers. At least for now, anyway.) Sam tells Rodney to get back to work reading the Genii papers; he protests that there’s nothing in them. They decide to get back to knotting the rope.

A bit later, while they work, Keller’s asking, “Steve Carell or Stephen Colbert?” Sam chooses Colbert. Rodney says “Carell, but I would pick John Stewart over both of them.” (Heeeee! And yeah, me too.) When one of the girls makes an intrigued sound, he qualifies his statement with, “If I was forced to.” Keller asks him what’s up with him and Katie. He says, dejectedly, that it’s messed up now. He admits that he was going to propose; Sam goggles, saying “You were?” He says he bought a ring, was about to ask, and then the quarantine happened. Keller asks what the quarantine had to do with it. He won’t go into details, just saying that he told Katie that he needed some time to think things out, and that it was nothing to do with her; now Katie’s not speaking to him and is transferring back to Earth! (Wow! Yay, update!) Keller informs him that he broke up with Katie. He says he didn’t. (I’m not sure whether he’s just saying that he didn’t make the move to break up with her himself, or that he thinks he and Katie are actually still something of an item, despite her not speaking to him and transferring out. You’d think, by his flirtation in Harmony, which seemed to indicate a wish that it would go farther than simple flirtation, that he would have at least known that things with Katie were, for whatever reason, beyond repair …) Sam agrees with Keller. Rodney protests that he said he needed time for himself; Keller “explains” that that’s “code” for “I’m not that into you anymore.” “But I meant it!” Rodney insists; Keller tells him that he can’t almost propose to someone and then take it back. (Okay, putting aside the point that Rodney failed to mention that Katie only found out that he was going to propose by accident, I’m as baffled as Rodney. I must be a terrible representative of my sex if I don’t get it but tom-boy Sam does! I thought that Rodney was making a wise decision to slow things down — it was Katie who broke it off, in my book, by getting offended instead of respecting that Rodney was trying to be responsible, and not speaking to him anymore! … That being said, I am glad that they had this conversation, both because it gave a definitive answer on the outcome of Rodney and Katie’s relationship and because of the next part …) Rodney self-deprecatingly muses that it’s for the best, saying with a rueful smile that Katie deserves someone who would have known that. (Cue me melting into a puddle of goo.) Keller says firmly that Katie deserves is to be with a nice guy — like him. (Okay, now I really like her!) Rodney smiles his (so-endearing) crooked smile.

Sam announces that they’re done with the knots; Rodney snags the rope up eagerly. They get ready for him to throw it — and hear the sounds of the kids returning before he can. Excited, Rodney insists that he knew they were good kids. Alas, the boys only brought a couple of friends, having mad a bet with the newcomers on whether or not they were telling the truth about there being people trapped down there, They still refuse to tell their parents. Rodney quickly reverts to Angry Parent mode. They kids are already gone, though. The ground shakes again, tipping the room a bit as the stilts buckle. Rodney figures one more quake will send the room falling into the chasm below.

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Rodney makes a half-hearted start with swinging the hook, then fusses with it a bit. Sam asks if he’s ever done this before; “Like you have!” he says in lieu of answering. She answers that she has, many a time. He hedges that he has too, on missions, looking at Keller (and sounding for all the world like a high-schooler trying to sound impressive to a girl). He suggests they move out of the way; they do. He tries to throw the hook, but instead of going up, it goes straight forward and almost hits Sam, striking the wall behind her in a spray of sparks. (The sparks are important to note — this was a good set-up!) Sam’s (understandably) ticked, but when she tries to take the hook to do it instead, he insists that he can do it (sounding like a little kid this time), adding that she just shouldn’t stand in front of him. She grudgingly lets him try. (Some people are baffled that she does; I can see both sides of the argument. On the one hand, time is of the essence, so they don’t have time to mess around, especially if McKay might accidentally hit them. Also, the fact that he let them tie the knots but is insisting on doing the throw himself suggests a bit of chauvanism on his part — although I suspect it has less to do with their being girls and more to do with him simply wanting to be manly and not wanting to tie knots. And, well, it’s funnier that way. On the other hand, Sam understands, as a leader, the value of giving people a chance. If they fail, they have their own failure to prove they can’t do it, which is far more effective than her simply telling them that they can’t. If they succeed — great! Especially in Rodney’s case, when he needs all the self-confidence he can get in physical situations. Sam probably figures they can spare a few minutes to let him try.) Sam and Keller crouch down behind a crate as he gives it another go. He does only marginally better, but insists, “See? Almost there!” Keller nods, thin-lipped, in half-hearted encouragement. Rodney gathers the hook from where it’s poking into a thick pipe, and doesn’t notice the gas leaking out (no smoke, but we can see the air tremble and hear the hiss) when he removes it. Keller cheers him on, and he makes another attempt. The hook strikes the pipe again — and this time the gas catches on fire from the sparks, blowing him across the room a ways! Sam hurries over and turns a big valve, shutting it off. Keller asks him if anything’s hurt; “Just my pride,” Rodney tells her, shaken. She smiles, telling him that’ll heal. Sam throws the hook herself; it works on the first try. Keller cheers; Rodney gives a happy-sounding “great”, but by his expression, his ego has obviously taken a blow. Alas, when Sam tugs on the rope, the hook comes back down, spilling dirt onto them, adding more weight to the room. She tries again; same result. The soil just won’t hold the hook.

Rodney gets an idea: they can use the rope to get onto the beams that are about ten feet off the ground, and use some of the planks lying around to build a bridge across them, aligning it under the hole in the roof; they then can stack crates on that to reach the remaining distance (clever trick #5). Sam points out that the planks aren’t long enough; Rodney says that they’ll just have to find a hammer and nails. “Sure, why not just add a jet pack and a trampoline to that list?” Sam snarks back. (Ooh, she can give Rodney a run for his money in that department!) Rodney’s certain that they can find the hammer and nails; Keller points out that they’ve looked around the room pretty thoroughly already. “But there’s gotta be a hammer and nails,” Rodney says, whining in despair. (Awwww! Somebody needs a hug!) “Well, even if we found them—” Sam starts; “Look, we just have to build a bridge,” Rodney interrupts, pleadingly. (He sounds like he really is about to have a breakdown, poor guy …. I wonder what Sam was going to say — that they don’t have time to build a bridge? That it wouldn’t be strong enough?) Keller suggests that they use a bar bet, “that dumb trick you do to get free beer.” Her companions have no idea what she means.

Next we see them, she’s stacked three cups, face-down, in a triangle, and is holding three knives. (I assume they cups and knives are from their packs, but they could have found them lying around.) She explains that the object of the exercise is to make a bridge, with just the knives, that touches all three cups and can support the weight of a third cup (or, in this case, a candle-sized cylindrical thing). There’s a catch — the distance between the cups is greater than the length of the knives, just like the planks are shirted than the gap between the beams. The ceiling creaks; Rodney points out that he and Sam are geniuses (yay for including Sam!) and could probably figure it out, but they don’t have the time right now; he gestures for her to hurry. With their help, she arranges the knives so that they fold over each other (kind of like the flaps on a box, when you want to keep it closed but have no tape), supporting each other and allowing each knife to reach a cup by sharing the distance with the other knives. She puts the white cylinder in the center; the bridge holds (and we have clever trick #6). Rodney backs up, looking at the beams, thinking. Smirking, Keller tells him he owes her a beer; he tells her that, if it works, he’ll buy her a keg. (Perhaps it’s an awful stereotype, but I’m not surprised she would be so fond of beer, seeing as she’s from Wisconsin — I have a few friends who were born there, and they’ve all quipped, at one time or another, that they were bottle-fed the stuff there …. Anyway, people have complained that Keller seems rather worldly for someone who claimed in “Quarantine” — and hinted in “Missing” — to have been so ostracised in her youth; I say she simply came out of her shell in college.)

We watch as our heroes throw rope and a pack over the beams, in a sort of pulley system, to get the planks up (clever trick #7). Rodney and Keller help Sam, then Rodney helps Keller (who is looking pretty nervous up on that beam), and finally Rodney struggles with the last board on his own. They arrange the planks like the knives. The planks tied in place by ropes, it seems to work, although it’s a bit wobbly. They get a crate in the center, under the hole, and put a smaller one on top of it. Sam starts to climb; it creaks ominously. Keller suggests it wasn’t a good idea after all. Rodney chimes in, voice fearful, saying that, while he knows he has a rep for being a pessimist, he really thinks that Sam should come down before the thing collapses. She ignores him; he keeps trying to talk her down. She reaches out her hand to the lip of the opening, when another quake happens. The whole bridge collapses.

Rodney’s at Sam’s side in a heartbeat this time, telling her not to move; he hovers helplessly. Keller gets over there and, after a moment, informs them grimly that Sam’s leg is broken. She’s obviously in agony as she quips, “We’re in trouble this time, aren’t we?” Rodney does his best to be reassuring. (Awww! Sam whumppage is good too, it seems!) Keller enlists a squeamish-looking McKay in holding down Sam’s leg while she removes the boot. (I’m half-tempted to watch this all through my fingers, feeling a bit squeamish myself.) Keller determines that there’s no nerve damage by touching the bottom of Sam’s foot. Then she and Rodney go in search of a bit of wood to make a splint with. While they’re away from Sam, Rodney quietly asks Keller how Sam is. (And bravo to him for his tact!) She says that there may be internal bleeding, which could be very bad, adding that she needs to get her under a scanner. He asks how long Sam would have if that’s the case, stumbling over the words, not being able to say something like “dies”; Keller tells him that they have about an hour before the bleeding becomes a problem. (It just gets better and better, doesn’t it?) Sam didn’t overhear them, but, as she puts it, it’s not her first rodeo; she asks Keller how long before internal bleeding becomes a problem. After answering, she gives Sam some ibuprofen; Rodney is appalled that she isn’t giving Sam something stronger. Keller informs him that that’s the best she’s got in the kit, adding that, after this, she may make morphine mandatory — as well as a grappling gun. (*Snicker* I’m surprised that Rodney didn’t make a remark about Batman’s utility belt ….) Sam says she wouldn’t take morphine anyway, that she needs a clear head, since one of them needs to think of a way out, particularly since she can no longer climb. Rodney looks to Keller, but after what happened with her last plan, she decides she’s leaving the planning to the “pros”. Rodney looks hopefully at Sam, but her focus at the moment is on her pain. (So if you had the morphine, you might as well take it anyway, ‘ey? Since you’re not able to think of plans, I mean ….)

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Thinking, Rodney starts going through why the other plans didn’t work, saying that the crates didn’t work because Sam was too heavy. He realises how bad that sounds, and clarifies that they wouldn’t have held any of them, adding, in a long ramble, that Sam has a perfect body. He notes Keller glaring at him then, and quickly quantifies that he’s not saying Keller doesn’t have a perfect body, quite the opposite. He rambles more, eventually saying that he wouldn’t be able to choose between them; Sam cuts him off, saying archly that he’ll never have to. (I totally see why she’s aggravated with him, especially being in pain like she is, but I also feel sorry for him — he was trying, in his own inept way, to be considerate. He’s so adorkable when he’s flustered like that! And this just goes further to show that he has no clue as to how to behave around women, but with a more positive spin this time.) Keller, seeming both annoyed with and amused by him, chides Sam, saying that, if they’d stayed quiet, she bets he would have gone on like that forever. He actually starts to ramble again, but Sam cuts him off and tells him to stay on topic.

McKay gets an idea to use the metal pipe from earlier — the one they used on the door — to brace over the opening, with the rope attached (clever trick #8), so that there’s no worry of it slipping in the soil like the hook did. Keller remarks that he was barely able to get the grappling hook up; when he starts to protest, Sam hurriedly points out that the pipe is much heavier. He looks over to the gas pipe and says that he needs a detonator (as he comes up with clever trick #9). Next we see him, he’s putting a C-4 detonator in a big, somewhat long metal tube. With Keller’s help and some cloth, he seals the tube against the hole in gas pipe. They put the thin pipe, with the rope tied to it, in the cannon, stuff the mouth of the cannon with cloth, and seal the mouth loosely with more cloth (as Rodney tells us that doing so too tightly would make it a pipe bomb instead). Keller asks if he really thinks it will work; he says it’s a cinch, and starts to launch into the story of his sixth grade science project (which long-time Stargate fans know is when he made a model of an atomic bomb — further evidence that the man often only thinks of the means to an end, and not the possible repercussions). Sam brings his focus back to the task at hand (much like John would). As Keller holds it in place, Rodney turns the valve, letting the cannon fill with gas for a moment, then turns it off again. He detonates it (with a poor, cringing Keller still holding the cannon); the pipe shoots into the air, soaring well above the opening and landing somewhere outside. (I immediately think of the true story of Phineas Gage. Look him up only if you have a strong stomach.) “Nice aim!” Rodney tells Keller. (Yay for him being appreciative of other’s efforts!) “Nice cannon!” Sam tells Rodney. Rodney tugs on the rope, drawing it down. Dirt starts to fall, and keeps falling, more and more. Sam tells him to stop, but he insists that he’s almost got it. (Nice parallel to earlier, when he told her not to climb the crates on the bridge and she did it anyway.) The stilts buckle under the strain of the added weight; the room tilts. Keller, holding on to the rope, falls through the red door (guess she didn’t close it well enough when she pushed the dirt out earlier!) Rodney’s holding on to the other end. (Did it come loose from the pipe?)

Sam shoves a box out of her way and looks out the door. We see Rodney behind her, on the other side of the room, his arms wrapped around a metal support beam, both hands holding the rope. (I’m wondering why he doesn’t hold the rope so that it’s wrapped around that support — it would ease some of the strain, I would think, like a pulley ….) Rodney is grimacing, shaking, and whimpering in pain. (Rodney whumppage! Yay! While he’s being a hero — even better! Of course, it’s partially his fault she fell, since he kept going with the dirt, but it’s not like they had a lot of options or he expected the door to fly open like that. And it worked out for the best.) Keller cries out for him not to let go, and Sam calls his name. He tells Sam that he can’t hold on; she says yes he can. He says he’s never been good at holding heavy things, adding, “I had an old lady’s grocery cart in college; it’s one of the reasons I didn’t date as much as I could have!” (Whoa, non sequitur much, Rodney?? Many thanks to Gateworld.net for the transcript; I couldn’t make that line out on my own.) Sam tells him to stay focused, that he needs to pull Keller up. He gets snarky back. She points out that Keller can’t hang like that forever; he snaps at her to help him then. She points out that she can’t even stand up, saying that he’ll have to do it on his own. (Well, you are right by the door — surely you could help relieve the strain on the rope by grabbing hold? Granted, if he accidentally lets go, you’d go flying right out the door.)

Rodney moves away from the support, getting into a position better for hauling (although again, circling around the pole would be better), and Keller drops a few feet. Rodney starts pull her up; she calls for him to stop, saying that she sees a light. Panicked, he tells her, “Nonononono, don’t go towards the light! You want to stay in the land of the living!” (ROFL!! Awww, he’s so sweet!) She explains that she sees daylight: there’s a mine shaft in front of her. Sam realises that it’s like the ones on the other side of the chamber, saying that they should have thought of that. Rodney snaps, screaming for them to tell him what to do; Keller tells him to lower her so she can reach the shaft. He protests that the mine shaft might not be any easier to get out of; Sam points out that their other exit is now blocked by earth, now that the room has tilted. He does as Keller asks; when she’s low enough, she starts to swing. Sam tells Rodney that he’s doing great; he retorts, “No, great is a beach with a fiberoptic hook-up; this is complete agony!” Keller makes it into the shaft and lets go of the rope. Rodney falls over just as she shouts that she made it; he mutters that she could have warned him. Keller informs them that the shaft is an easy out.

Sam tells Rodney to go on without her; of course he won’t. She points out that she can’t lower herself; he says he’ll do it. “Rodney, your hands …” We see that they’re shaking and covered in blood. (Aha! I knew it! As I mentioned last edition, Mallozzi had posted a pic on his blog that inspired me to write a fanfic: the picture showed David Hewlett, behind-the-scenes, with his hands wrapped in dirty bandages, some blood peeking out. I knew immediately that Rodney would be getting rope burn in this ep. Actually, the part of the fic about how he got said rope burn was pretty spot-on too. *Is proud of herself.* Of course, everything else about the fic has indeed been negated by this ep’s canon — even more aspects of it than I knew would be .…) Still refusing to leave her, Rodney insists that he’ll make Sam a seat (clever trick #10). We see Sam (in obvious pain, poor woman) being lowered down on said seat. (This time Rodney has finally wrapped the rope around the support, just as I thought he should). Sam tells Rodney to stop, then tosses a length of rope to Keller, so the doctor can pull her into the shaft (clever trick #11). The room making him stand at an awkward slant, an exhausted Rodney’s actually not too thrilled about it being his turn.

Next we see him, he’s holding to the rope for dear life with bloody-bandaged hands, while Keller tries to coax him into swinging over. He complains that he’s used up everything just getting this far. (Uh, use the rope and have Keller tug you in like she did Sam?) Keller asks him if he’s going to just quit and die out there; breathless and shivering, Rodney insists that he’s just taking a rest. We see that the rope is starting to fray. Rodney ruminates on the fact that he’s a real-life action star, yet such tasks haven’t gotten any easier for him and he’s not super-buff. (Another really nice character moment! I just wish John were there to comment.) “Hey, come on, Schwarzenegger, start swingin’,” Keller demands. He begs off for another second of rest, then hears the room creak above him. “Okay, breaks over,” he says, and starts to swing. The rope continues to fray. With Keller’s help, he gets into the shaft just before the rope snaps; a moment later, the room falls into the crevasse. (Whoa, that was wicked-scary! Another awesome job by the special effects team! Also, all of that took so long, one must hope that Sam’s break isn’t serious, because I don’t think they could make it back to the ‘Gate before the hour is up ….)

Back in Atlantis, Rodney and Keller sit on an infirmary bed together, all cleaned up; a doctor finishes with the clean bandages on Rodney’s hands while Keller looks at a chart, her own hands bandages as well. Rodney asks how Sam is. She says the break was clean; it’s been reset, and Sam’s getting a cast for a few weeks. Keller asks Rodney how he is, while he stares at his hands; “I’d like to take a bath in whatever magic ointment they just put on my hands, ’cause they are the only thing that doesn’t hurt,” he tells her, then asks if they’ll scar. “Chicks dig scars,” she replies. “Not the chicks I dig,” he protests. She tells him he’ll be fine, then thanks him. “For what?” he asks, truly baffled. She says for saving her life by not dropping her. He tells her, seeming uncomfortable, that she’s welcome. (Note that he doesn’t get arrogant or anything; he really does have some modesty to him! Of course, she saved him at the end there, too.) He says he’s going to his room to “curl up in the fetal position and sleep for the next three days.” She tells himhe can’t yet; he owes her a beer for the bar bet thing. He protests that he would have figured it out. (Rodney! You promised her a keg!) She points out that chimps could figure it out eventually too, but he didn’t, so he owes her. He protests that he doesn’t remember agreeing to that. “McKay.” “What?” he snaps. “Do you wanna have a drink with me or not?” And it finally sinks in that she wants to spend time with him, not just get a beer out of him. (Again, so adorkable! I love vulnerability!) She shakes her had at him, smiling as she remarks, “You’re not very good at this, are you?” “No, no I’m not,” he agrees. She leads him out of the room.

In hindsight, it’s interesting how Rodney and Keller started the ep at each other’s throats yet ended up on very friendly terms, somewhat like Rodney and Harmony. Note that “Harmony” was also a Gero episode. (Also note that this is in no way meant to be a criticism — I greatly appreciate parallels and recurring themes!)

Now, I have to admit some disappointment that the Ronon/Keller thing didn’t get anywhere — Mallozzi confirms that Keller is still single. Some are ticked at Keller going after another guy already, while others point out that in this modern age, a woman certainly be allowed to see more than one guy. I’m in the middle. Sure, a woman should be free to see or not see people as she chooses — I’m bi and poly for Frith’s sake, I’m the last person to insist on monogamy! The problems I have with this situation are: Firstly, we hardly get shippage in this franchise, and as a shipper, I would like to see something more substantial than flirtations. (Teyla’s situation hardly counts, since we haven’t even met her guy, and he was introduced to deal with Luttrell’s pregnancy). Yes, I know not everyone likes ships I didn’t expect a ship to be started, either. But secondly, there was a very nice set-up for Ronon/Keller, not just in “Quarantine”, but in “Tabula Rasa” and “Doppelganger”, and it seems a waste not to run with it a while. I hate to see good story potential just get abandoned — I’d almost rather they hadn’t moved in that direction at all, then, that they hadn’t teased us, as I am sincerely tired of being teased. And lastly, is Keller nuts, passing up Ronon?? (Even if I would prefer Rodney, I wouldn’t have said no to Ronon before an opportunity with Rodney arose! ….)

All that being said, the notion of Keller and Rodney is cute too — she’d certainly be a better match for him than Katie! And there was good set-up for it in this ep. Although … Mallozzi warns that this was just two people getting drinks, so we shouldn’t expect this to go anywhere either. And really, the end there felt more like she was trying to help him get back on the horse after the whole Katie debacle, rather than her being that really into him. Still, the idea of Ronon/Keller/Rodney is certainly appealing to me …. (*Cough*)

Overall, this ep was even funnier the second and third times around. (And I hope that our heroes eventually went back to the settlement and tattled on those brats who left them trapped! *Snicker*)

Before I go, a thought. A gal named Shawna pointed out at Mallozzi’s blog — and I agree with her — that this ep seems to have been inspired, at least in part, by Vincenzo Natali’s film Cube, which starred David Hewlett and (essentially) took place in one room. (Actually, it was a “maze” of square rooms, and they just continuously reused the same set. Still, it had the same basic effect as if it were supposed to be one room.) The people in the story were trapped and had to be very resourceful. There’s a few specific moments in this ep that are similar to specific moments in the film as well. Not that this ep was a rip-off — it’s definitely a very different story on the whole — but is it intended to be an homage, I wonder?

If you intend to see the film and don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now, and I’ll just see you next week, for “Midway”. If you have seen it, or don’t care about spoilers and want some specifics on the similarities, read on.

Still with me? Okay.

First of all, there’s the general stuff, the “single room”ness, as I said, and the fact that, in Cube, they were trying to escape their situation and had to be clever to do so, as the maze was filled with traps and keys to determining where the traps were or how to get past them. They also slowly learned more and more about each other, which I think is rather the point of these kinds of stories.

Now, a bit more specifically, in some instances they had to go through a door in the ceiling (although it wasn’t so difficult to get through, as there were ladders in the walls). Also, the colours of the rooms had an impact, as one of the characters refused to go into red rooms. (Kind of like how Sam didn’t want to go through the red door?)

Lastly, and a lot more specifically, at one point, they reach rooms where one of the doors leads to a vast empty space, kind of like how, in “Trio”, the red door led to the cavern with a big drop. In Cube, in an attempt to determine how high up they are, the characters create a rope made of their clothes and lower one of the women down into the empty space; they struggle to keep from dropping her as she tries to swing over to the other side. I wonder if David felt a bit of deja-vu? ….

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Wolfen Moondaughter is on the editorial board for the comics industry webzine Sequential Tart for which she has written since late 2001. She’s also written for Newtype USA, contributed to Andy Mangel’s book Animation on DVD, self-published a novel (Memory of the Brightwing). Writing as “Anastasia Witchhazel”, her fantasy short story, “Chase”, is the title story in a homoerotic anthology from Wapshott Press. She’s an artist, too, having done spot illustrations for Dragonlance, a few panels for Barb Lien-Cooper’s webcomic series Gun Street Girl, and private commissions. In her spare time, she’s a fanficcer/fanartist. See more of her work at her site, Wolfen’s Webworld.