Presidential Geek Survey Diary – Day 220

Is Mitt Romney’s Republican party the same as the rest of the country’s Republican party? At his quittin’ time speech today he said, “You know, we have all the fun. The people in our party, they’re gorgeous.” He was addressing these people (I’m not joking, either):

They do look like gorgeous, fun-loving party people.

Mittens was addressing this passel of poopy pants at the Conservative Political Action Conference to announce that he was dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination. Here are some highlights from his quittin’ speech:

I’m convinced that unless America changes course, we could become the France of the 21st century.

Wait, if we’re the France of the 21st century, what would happen to the actual France in the 21st century?

[nms:france,1,0]

He’s [David Landes] a professor emeritus at Harvard University. I presume he’s a liberal. I guess that’s redundant.

Let’s mock peoples who is smarter than us! This is Uhmerica!

To battle this threat [Jihad], we’ve sent the most courageous and brave soldiers in the world. But their numbers have been depleted by the Clinton years.

For good measure, let’s dump our lack of a quick resolution to the War on Terror on President Bill Clinton.

[nms:bill clinton,1,0]

I’d forestall the launch of a national campaign and, frankly, I’d make it easier for Senator Clinton or Obama to win. Frankly, in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.

Terror doesn’t have hands, dude! It’s an idea. You can’t surrender to an idea! “Terror” is like Hillary Clinton’s biggest opponent in Michigan, “Uncommitted”. It has no physical form!

Sooo, Mittens is dropping out because he loves his country, not because his country doesn’t like him as much as he’d hoped. Thanks for clearing that up, Mittens.

Mittens, thank you for dropping out of this race. You would quite possibly have been an even bigger disaster for this country. The Geek Survey will not pine for you.

Score
The Cocoon-Like World of Mittens: 1 Geeks: 0

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