If you can’t be the guy conservatives want as president, be the guy they don’t hate. At least, be the guy conservatives hate slightly less than John McCain. Mitt Romney understands that elections in the United States aren’t about getting your guy in – they’re about keeping the other guy out. As such, he’s attempting to harness the conservatives‘ McCain hate for his own gain.
So, here are some of Mittens’ new Super Tuesday ads:
Mitt Romney. . . He’s not John McCain.
Prevent John McCain from spreading his liberal belief in global warming. Vote for Mitt Romney on Tuesday. Romney. . . the candidate who isn’t a former POW or war hero.
[nms:mitt romney,1,0]
John McCain says it’s our patriotic duty to preserve the beauty and integrity of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Mitt Romney says that if we don’t drill in ANWR, the radical jihadists win.
John McCain is a jagged stick in the eye of the Republican party. Vote Mitt Romney. . . he’s better than a jagged stick in the eye.
You may ask, “But, Mittens! What about Mike Huckabee? Isn’t he a conservative darling?” Mittens’ response? “If you vote for Huckabee, you may as well vote for McCain.”
To which Mike Huckabee replied,” Voting for Romney is like voting for a girl.”
Gentlemen, stop your bickering for five whole minutes and respond to the Geek Survey. Let the Geek Survey serve as a bridge of friendship and understanding among conservatives! Then you can go back to fighting over who’s loves Reagan the most.
Score
John McCain Haters: 1 Geeks: 0
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
