I didn’t intend to watch Kyle XY, but John accidentally turned to ABC Family and there was Kyle’s perfect coif and inexplicably thinkle-less brow, along with his girlfriend Amanda announcing, “I can’t see you!” Knowing this show, I was convinced she’d gone blind and Kyle would have to fix her sight by thinking really hard. I decided to harness the snark as it was happening in my living room in my first attempt at liveblogging.
Is Laurie’s head getting rounder and more balloon like? Like a parade balloon? Perhaps it’s the effect of our HDTV.
Who are these people who do spring cleaning together and why are they doing it in January?
Who are these guidance counselors who assign essays? Every guidance counselor I know is so swamped with graduation planning and self-mutilation cases that there is no time to assign “Who am I?” essays.
[nms:kyle xy,1,0]
Kyle XY and Jesse should hang out with Cameron the Terminette from the Sarah Connor Chronicles. They can all stand around, look vaguely confused and not emote together.
Oh, god. What is Kyle doing? Is he playing a guitar outside his girl’s window? Kyle, rent Say Anything and observe Lloyd Dobbler.
Laurie says: learn the meaning of privacy – a message brought to you by ABC Family.
Trager Dad, don’t try to be cool. Don’t say “peeps” unless you’re talking about marshmallowy treats.
Jessie to Laurie: I didn’t want to beat you up. It was my programming – your giant head created interference that corrupted the “kill Kyle” program.
Trager Dad: I got nostalgic while lecturing at the university. Either Trager Dad wants to teach or he nailed a co-ed.
Excuse me, ABC Family. I make elevator control panels for a living and my life is exciting and fulfilling. How dare you use my profession for the purposes of demonstrating how boring something can be.
So, is Kyle’s problem with shorting out electrical things figurative of another. . . um. . . early release problem?
An ABC Family first look at The Eye. Watch Parker Posey play second fiddle to a Jessica Alba! Hopefully she does the blind thing better than The Thing’s girlfriend.
[nms:kyle xy,1,1]
Wow. That was an elaborate plot to get Amanda out of the house. What ever happened to leaving laxative laced baked goods for the mom? While she’s taking an extended poop, you break in, grab the girl and then run to The Rack.
Trager Dad, that teaching thing you’re thinking about? You’re really not missing anything. Making money is so much better.
Trager Brother never knew that wearing a girl’s wig would feel so right.
Amanda: My feelings for you could never change. Even though I’m like sixteen years old and in high school.
Right about then, my blueberry cobbler was done and I got swept up in eating it out of the pan in the kitchen. Next thing I know, Amanda’s mom is dragging her from Kyle’s arms. Then Amanda is showing up at Kyle’s window as a runaway.
Next week: Amanda hides in Kyle’s closet and meets his underwear.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
