“At ease, Ensign, before you sprain something” - Janeway

By Rhea Dee

Last April, I went to go see Hot Fuzz, Edgar Wright’s and Simon Pegg’s follow-up to the brilliant Shaun of the Dead. Hot Fuzz was pure awesome fantastico, and my obsession with all things Edgar Wright, Simon Peg and Nick Frost began. But as my obsession snowballed into an eternal frantic squee, I realized that I could no longer avoid the crucial television project of Wright/Pegg/Frost.

I’m referring to Spaced, their beloved cult British sitcom about two roommates posing as a professional couple amidst multiple pop culture references-and not just any pop culture references-total geek pop culture references.

Unfortunately, the series has yet to find a Region One home, so the only way to see the show is through a Region Free DVD player or more illegal means.

I waited patiently for a few months hoping for a miracle Region One release. Good things come to those who don’t download illegally, right?

I didn’t last long. But I don’t illegally download, not after a nasty incident with spyware, a.k.a. Satan incarnate. Luckily You Tube is the boob tube of the world, and someone was kind enough to upload the entire fourteen episode series.

As I watched Spaced, my frantic eternal squee in full shriek mode, I began to fall in love with the leading lady of the show, Daisy Steiner (played by the amazing Jessica Hynes nee Stevenson). Daisy, I realized, was a lot like me; an aspiring writer who can’t seem to get motivated, a cheery disposition with an edge of scathing cynicism, and a crush on Simon Pegg (well, Tim Bisley, but Simon does play him).

Daisy was amazing. She wasn’t an every-girl, sure, but I don’t really care for an every-girl model because I’m not an every-girl. I credit her realism to Jessica Hynes, who also co-wrote the series as well as starring in it. From the way Daisy was written and played, I got the feeling that Hynes really knew how to connect with her girl audience. Daisy had faults but was never overshadowed by them, or in danger of becoming a Mary Sue. Daisy liked Tim but never lusted after him hopelessly or thwarted advances because she was afraid of commitment. Daisy defied many stereotypes that female characters sometimes fall into and proved that you could still be a great character without those trappings. My frantic eternal squee had reached such a pitch I’m sure it could’ve been harbored as an energy source.

But then something unfortunate happened.

In late October, Fox announced that they were adapting Spaced into an American sitcom. As an American, I’m used to remakes, so that didn’t shake me, and I was initially curious until I read who was adapting the remake.

McG.

Mc. Bleeping. G.

My initial response to that bit of news was “This is not HAPPENING” followed by a steady stream of the angriest cusswords I’ve ever uttered.

Now, I’m not the only person that rebels against this decision. In fact, I’m pretty late in ranting about it. Many blogs have expressed their distaste for this decision, remarking on how the geek pop culture references will be lost in the attempt to make the show mainstream and accessible to the viewer. While those things frighten me, that’s not what I’m really worried about.

This is what concerns me most: What is to become of Daisy Steiner in McG’s Spaced?

Surprisingly, this has nothing to do with Charlie’s Angels. I’m not saying that I love those movies, but I don’t hate them either. I’m rather indifferent to the films actually, mostly because I thought they were ‘okay’ and any movie that I think is ‘okay’ is casually forgotten.

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No, my fear stems from a little show called Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll, the nightmare of a show that was supposed to be the Spice Girls of the 21st Century, touting a media friendly feminism that was supposedly “a snapshot of the contemporary woman being everything she can be.” If you’ve ever seen The Pussycat Dolls in action, you know how ridiculous this is.

Now, guess who the executive producer of that show was?

McG.

This is not HAPPENING.

But it is. The fear that Daisy Steiner is going to strut around the American Spaced singing “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?” is overwhelming. What’s even more overwhelming is that I will be forced to admire this plastic doll recreation of Daisy Steiner as better than the original.

Whoa, got lost in the nightmare there. I suppose I might be imaging the worst possible scenario, but it’s McG, and I very much dislike him, so I think I’m allowed.

And when that awful day arrives, I’ll harbor Daisy Steiner, in all her cheery and slightly cynical splendor, and tell McG to take his version of Spaced and just f*** off.

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