Bionic Woman: Trust Issues

By Melissa Voelker
Tonight I’ve been drinking some Sake Dew (Sake mixed with Mt Dew – it’s tasty, believe me) so maybe that will make things better as I watch the new Bionic Woman episode. Or maybe not.

Jaime is on a mission and proving just how bad of a secret government agent she really is. She’s trailing someone but takes a phone call from her CIA boy toy Tom and ends up losing track of her target. Then she has to chase him down and causes a nasty car accident, though she doesn’t seem too concerned about it. One week she doesn’t want to kill people and the next she walks away from an accident with civilians that SHE caused, just to take a booty call? Um, what?

The next morning at Chez Sommers, Becca is being all adorable and preparing to make a family dinner for herself, Jaime, and Tom. How cute. Jaime heads off to work and is chewed out for talking to Tom while on the job. She responds to the criticism with her usual snarkiness and then is filled in on tonight’s caper. It seems someone has stolen super bullets and the rifle to launch them with. Berkhut has uncovered a possible plot to assassinate a less than pleasant African president/dictator type guy and they have decided that Jaime shall protect him. It’s off to check out the Prez’s apartment and Antonio gets into a pissing contest with one of the members of the African security detail. Turns out this Prez fella is a genocidal maniac and Antonio has some history with him.

Aside from wanting to kill the man they are supposed to be protecting, Antonio has some issues with Jaime and her new main squeeze. He wants her to dump Tom, saying inter-espionage relationships never work out. She asks who the girl was that broke his heart and he asks why it always has to be a woman that turned a man’s attitude toward love sour. Hrm, does this mean he might be gay? Suddenly he is kinda interesting.

Jaime has a therapy session with Ruth that goes nowhere and then it is on to dinner with Becca and Tom. Everything is going all warm and fuzzy until Jaime gets a call from Antonio. Meanwhile Jonas and Nathan (Nathan, yay!) discover something hinky is going on, utilizing air traffic control software and Nathan’s uber-sexy nerd brain. Tom and Becca bond over the remnants of family dinner until he too gets a call and has to bolt. He makes some pretty suspicious comments into his cell phone on the way out of the building. I hate to try figuring out twists in this show because usually what I come up with is way more interesting than what actually happens. But I have some theories anyway:

1) The CIA is planning to assassinate the Prez dude that Jaime is protecting . . . or . .

2) Tom has known all along about Jaime being bionic because he is really working with Sarah Corvus and Anthony Anthros . . . or . . .

3) Tom is actually Will with a lot of plastic surgery who faked his death and . . . okay, maybe not that one.

Bionic Woman - Michelle Ryan Jaime and Antonio rush to save the Prez from an assassination attempt and arrive just in the nick of time. They try to convince him to leave the country but he won’t go. Tom shows up all pissed off that Jaime doesn’t have real back up and then he and Antonio end up in a bit of a face off. Wow, if there is one thing that Antonio loves it is getting into pissing contests with other guys. Poop, maybe he isn’t gay. He gives a sob story about a woman from back in the day, but wait, maybe he was just joking! Yay, he could still be gay, but suddenly he is acting pretty hinky too. Ugh.

Jaime arrives home and Becca tells her not to screw things up with Tom. Apparently she thinks he is quite the catch, especially compared to most of the men Jaime has brought home in the past. Does that include Will? Should she even say something like that about Jaime’s dead kinda-fiancée? Or are we pretending Will never existed again? That seems to happen a lot in this show unless there is a very specific reason to mention him. Oh well, moving on.

[nms:bionic woman,2,0]

Hinky Antonio does something mysterious and possibly bad. Nathan (Nathan again, yay!) calls Jaime with information he came up with and she heads out to see what is up with her possibly double-crossing partner. On the street she catches some CIA agents tailing her and gets a bit ticked when she finds out Tom set them to watch her. I’d be mad too.

After taking out some of her relationship issues on the poor CIA agents, Jaime catches Antonio making a suspicious call. It is beginning to look like she can’t trust anybody. She joins up with him to check the place the assassin was staying at. When they get back to Berkhut she tells Jonas about her worries. They decide to set Antonio up as they think he is working with the assassin.

The next day Tom tries to explain why he had agents tailing Jaime and she buys the bull he shovels her way. For a bunch of spies everyone is so darn trusting. It is kind of sad really. After they make up it is off to the races with Jaime and Antonio. Will the assassin off the evil Prez? Will Antonio be caught dabbling with the dark side? Will there be a big twisty reveal at the end that includes some male genitalia that doesn’t belong (best twist ever – just look at “Sleepaway Camp” and “The Crying Game”)?

Will this show ever really be worth watching?

Antonio pulls a gun on Jaime and surprise surprise it turns out the would-be assassin is his long lost love (a woman, blah.) For once Jaime asks why she should trust Antonio’s story, but seconds later does anyway. He says he isn’t in on the assassination plot and now it is yet another race against time to save the evil Prez’s life. Scary music says – it might happen?

Sure enough, just in time Jaime crashes through a window, knocks the Prez down, and he survives. She and Antonio corner the assassin and he tries to talk sense into her but gets shot for his trouble. I was so hoping the twist would be that Antonio is gay or a hermaphrodite or something interesting, not just that he is going to be dead. Boo, writers. Boooo!

Jaime cries. Jonas is compassionate. Tom acts the part of the caring boyfriend. We are treated to another sad end song. I feel like I should be upset that Antonio is dead but I’m not. I didn’t really feel a connection to him as a character. He was mildly entertaining when he went all psychotic and tortured prisoners, but the rest of the time he was either too condescending or creepily empathetic. The only sad thing for me is that he won’t be missed.

And so tonight’s recap:

Dead mentor/partners who did not turn out to be gay – 1

Completely implausible cover stories/jobs – 2 (Jaime sells timeshares and Tom is a calculator executive? Lame)

Hints at plot twists that ultimately went nowhere – 2

Number of Sake Dews it would have taken to make this episode totally awesome – More than I had

Never miss an update. Subscribe to Pink Raygun by Email or subscribe via RSS

About Melissa: By day a mild-mannered tv station receptionist, by night a fighter of crime and corruption in the dirty streets of Spokane, WA . . . or maybe not so much. More like a hyperactive, anal-retentive daytime receptionist and a melodramatic, hyperactive nighttime fangirl who only wishes she could be a fighter of crime and champion of justice (except that would lead to getting my super costume all dirty and I hate doing laundry.) Though my intent has always been to write bestselling novels and live a life of wealth and luxury, putting my talents for snarkiness and word doodling together while letting my geek flag fly suits me just fine – for now.