Let’s take a break from the chupacabras and Loch Ness monsters this week and talk about something serious. I know, I know. “But I’ve been bitten by both a chupacabra and a Loch Ness monster,” you’re saying. “That’s what I call serious.” To clarify, when I say “serious”, I mean “real”. Take a look at your arm. There’s no blood there anymore.
Thank me later.
Anyway, there’s been a recent flap of hysteria in this country concerning vaccines and autism. Namely, concerned parents of autistic children (and concerned former Playboy playmates who happen to be parents of autistic children) have been appearing on television claiming that vaccinations caused their children’s afflictions. Many raise the hypothesis that exposure to the mercury used in thimerosal, a preservative sometimes used in MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccines, is to blame. Despite the fact that all traces of mercury—even the negligible amounts once found in MMR vaccines—have been phased out of the U.S. vaccine supply with absolutely no result on the number of autism diagnoses, the accusations continue. Also despite the fact that most research points to autism being an inherited genetic disorder, parents continue to claim that their children came back from their vaccination appointment a completely different person.
Here’s where it gets scary. Because of this nonsense, understandably terrified parents are opting out of giving their children necessary vaccinations. The vaccination program is one of the greatest success stories of modern medicine. It has crippled and even eliminated diseases that once killed children and adults by the thousands. And even though vaccinations are compulsory before a child can enter public school, there are religious exceptions that the paranoid are taking advantage of. The danger here isn’t just to the lives of those children who opt out of vaccination, but to their classmates as well. If only a small percentage of children in a population aren’t vaccinated, diseases will have enough carriers to gain a foothold on everyone’s health.
[nms:vaccine,2,0]
[nms:autism,2,0]
I just got back from attending my girlfriend’s daughter’s Thanksgiving lunch at her elementary school, and even more than the outrageously inadequate parking and walking dead-like lethargy of the average grandparent in a lunch line, I was pissed off wondering whether any of those sneezy, snotty children might be carrying a deathly illness because her parents were fed a load of pseudoscience. Also, I wondered why the Thanksgiving meal consisted of mini corndogs, but that’s beside the point.
I mean, there was turkey and dressing also, but mini corndogs? What the hell?
Anyway, for a more detailed and scientific essay on this topic, pick up the latest issue of The Skeptical Inquirer and read the cover story by neurologist (and host of the excellent Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe podcast) Dr. Steven Novella. Then pass it on to anyone who mentions vaccines and autism in the same sentence.
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About The Amateur Scientist: Brian Thompson is a professor of amateur science at a major imaginary university. He has been able to read and write for over seventeen years.
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Brian Thompson is a professor of amateur science at a major imaginary university and a regular blogger at CHUD. He has been able to read and write for over seventeen years. 
