By Melissa Voelker
Once again the 1976 original Bionic Woman took the lead in the showdown, but it was a slim victory over the last round so if it wants to stay on top it is going to have to really bring its best for this fight – Bionic Powers. Because it is now in the lead 2-1 it will go first and hopefully is prepared to show off its ultimate stuff.
After narrowly surviving her near death experience, Jaime #1 was fitted with two bionic legs, a lifelike prosthetic right arm, and a bionic right ear. These gave her the ability to run as fast as a speeding car, bend steel, throw objects great distances, and hear sounds like talking over a mile away.
Undergoing surgery after her own brush with a gruesome death, Jaime #2 was also given two bionic legs and a bionic right arm and ear, plus a bionic right eye, a GPS tracking device and camera installed in her brain, and little micro-machines in her bloodstream called anthrocytes. She too can run as fast (if not faster) than a speeding car, hear things a long way away, and exhibit super strength. Plus with the bionic eye she has infrared vision, and with the anthrocytes her body heals at a much faster rate than normal.
Now the GPS tracking device and camera are all hooked up to Jaime #2′s bionic eye, so they count altogether as one thing, but that still gives her a leg up on Jaime #1 (or is it an eye up?). That eye comes in handy, which is probably why back in the day they gave Col Steve Austin one. And those anthrocytes aren’t bad either, especially when a superhero is out doing stuff that could get them badly injured.
Even though Jaime #2 is a little more bionic than Jaime #1, does that mean she has more “super powers”? What kinds of superhuman acts has she performed with all her fun bits? Besides jumping over tall fences and walls, she has also played that favorite game of bionic women everywhere – Rooftop Leaping. She has also torn her way through metal fencing, stopped deadly exhaust fan blades with her bare hands, and grabbed flaming cooking utensils with those same bare hands, which proceeded to heal almost immediately. Aside from those kinds of actions she does the normal hero/government agent type stuff like kicking bad guy ass and throwing opponents across the room.
Jaime #1 had more time to display her superhuman abilities as her show was on for several seasons, so I’ll just pick a few to compare with. She broke boulders just by kicking them, jumped up ladders and scaffolds, crushed metal water pitchers with her bare hands, and even broke windows by opening them too roughly. She could also lift tractors and hit baseballs clear out of the ballpark. There was less hand-to-hand fighting back in Jaime #1′s day but I’m sure she would have done just as well at it as Jaime #2 does (when Jaime #2 isn’t getting her butt kicked.)
So the match is still really pretty even. Jaime #2 has more bionic parts, but Jaime #1 makes more super use of hers. The deciding factor for this round is going to have to be based around the problems associated with the bionic technology. Jaime #1 had to have check ups and adjustments pretty often, and whenever she busted something it was pretty obvious because you could usually see the robot parts through tears in her fake skin. She also almost died when her body initially tried to reject the bionic parts. Besides severe headaches, she wound up in a coma and only survived because of the clever use of cryogenics. And even then she had amnesia when she woke up.
Jaime #2 is the bionic woman of a new age and has parts that integrate more fully into her body, with real skin grown over the top of them. However, that doesn’t mean her bionics are perfect. In fact, they seem to lead to craziness and mental imbalances (as suffered by Jaime #2′s nemesis Sarah Corvus.) The anthrocytes, while great for healing little things like burns, aren’t so great for bigger things like getting shot. They tend to incorporate foreign material into the body so instead of expelling a bullet they will just bring it in deeper and deeper, potentially causing more harm or even death. They also will wear out within five years, and when that happens it is goodbye Jaime #2.
As far as this round goes, the Jaimes are pretty well matched. They both have close to the same abilities and parts, and they both suffer for the technology they carry. While Jaime #2 might have a little extra in the new limbs department, Jaime #1 has it a little easier when it comes to problems associated with her limbs. So I’m going to call this round a tie, and the score is now 3-2.
With only one round left – Characters – it looks like the crown may go to the original series. But the remake has surprised us before, and could take the last round. If it does we may have to pull out a tie breaking Round 6, because in the end there can be only one Ultimate Bionic Woman (and yes, I know I totally stole that line.)
About Melissa: By day a mild-mannered tv station receptionist, by night a fighter of crime and corruption in the dirty streets of Spokane, WA . . . or maybe not so much. More like a hyperactive, anal-retentive daytime receptionist and a melodramatic, hyperactive nighttime fangirl who only wishes she could be a fighter of crime and champion of justice (except that would lead to getting my super costume all dirty and I hate doing laundry.) Though my intent has always been to write bestselling novels and live a life of wealth and luxury, putting my talents for snarkiness and word doodling together while letting my geek flag fly suits me just fine – for now.
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By day a mild-mannered tv station receptionist, by night a fighter of crime and corruption in the dirty streets of Spokane, WA . . . or maybe not so much. More like a hyperactive, anal-retentive daytime receptionist and a melodramatic, hyperactive nighttime fangirl who only wishes she could be a fighter of crime and champion of justice (except that would lead to getting my super costume all dirty and I hate doing laundry.) Though my intent has always been to write bestselling novels and live a life of wealth and luxury, putting my talents for snarkiness and word doodling together while letting my geek flag fly suits me just fine - for now. 
