Chuck vs. The Alma Mater

Cross-bow wielding, rogue Icelandic spies pale in comparison to the subtle, every day evil of Harry Tang – megalomaniac and assistant manager of the Buy More.

Wanna have lunch with your friends under the flickering fluorescent lights of the Pine-Sol scented break room?

The Tang will thwart your puny plans with staggered breaks!

Wanna play “Name that Show!” with the big screen TV wall?

The Tang will lock all screens to. . . GOLF!

Harry Tang. I bet he lived through hell in elementary school and junior high. “Harry Tang has a hairy wang!!!” would be an excellent playground taunt and jump rope rhyme.

All that, and he looks like Yul Brenner in Westworld. Kinda.

I love that the Buy More gang calls the customer service counter “The Hole”. When I was in college, I worked at Pick N’ Save one summer. The customer service counter was where the assistant manager threw cashiers who went bad, didn’t have the appropriate reverence for their NCR registers (you, know – the one’s that kept eating the register tape), or kept screwing up when item’s didn’t scan correctly.

Yeah, Rosa the Scanning Manager was in charge of all of that and it was MY fault when stuff rang up incorrectly?? What were you doing back there all day, Rosa? Certainly not getting the prices right!

Then, one day, I was herded to the customer service counter, where I mumbled “toothless redneck jerkface” about a million times over the course of my six hour sentence. Pick N’ Save was the only place where a person could mutter “toothless redneck jerkface” and be referring both to the guy at the customer service counter trying to return a half-eaten can of tuna and the assistant manager.

The Pick N’ Save could have used Harry Tang to straighten the place out. The Tang wouldn’t have allowed the air conditioner to languish broken in the middle of July. IN FLORIDA.

So, The Tang wreaked havoc at the Buy More this week. Oh, yeah – there was some spy stuff with Chuck and some whiny reminiscing about getting thrown out of Stanford.

But, The Tang is far more fun.

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