I doubt anyone’s looked at Max Schreck as Count Orlock in Nosferatu and thought, “Ohh, that’s a sexy beast!” With bat ears, long, creeky fingers and a smattering of sharp teeth, he’s not someone I want sucking at my neck (and I like weird looking guys – Hugh Laurie, anyone?).
Ben Templesmith’s vampires in 30 Days of Night made me really freaking uncomfortable while reading the book and even more so when they were brought to life for the movie. Think of Nosferatu and cross that with the infected from 28 Days Later – that’s your basic 30 Days vampire.
They’re feral animals with deformed faces, mouths full of pirhana teeth and an extremely poor sense of personal hygiene. Surely the blood on their faces and staining their gothy costumes gets stinky.
Lestat is cringing right now.
30 Days of Night started off really strong, making me jump and scream several times and getting by on shock value. But, as Barrow’s month without sun progressed, it became less tense and I started picking up problems.
There’s no real sense of time passing and the characters are less desperate as the movie goes on. The only indication that they’ve been in hiding for a month is Josh Harnett’s facial hair growth.
Characters made a lot of stupid decisions. Yeah, go after the old man. You’ve made it 27 days in and when you see a flashlight across the way – when the only signs of life until then were vampires – run out to see what’s up. OK, that’s fine. Oh, and while you’re at it, after you say “We have to sign off. They’ll hear you,” can you keep talking on the walkie-talkie for five minutes about how you shouldn’t have left Eben?
That’ll keep you alive.
The whole marriage on the rocks thing with Eben and Stella which went nowhere. Would it really have been so bad for them to be happily married co-sherrifs like they were in the book? Their estrangement didn’t add any dramatic tension. It didn’t add anything to Eben’s decision to fight the vampires. It didn’t add anything to the ending.
About that ending. Eben’s last sunrise was an overplayed, pandering mess. Thanks for the emotional cue, but I don’t need an 1990s industrial goth ballad to let me know how I should feel.
Overall, I’m annoyed because I really like the book 30 Days of Night and wanted the movie to be better than it was. It deserved to be more than another mediocre comic book adaptation.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
