PRGAAMWA DVD Fight: Severance vs. Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror
I shouldn’t laugh when a guy gets his leg caught in a bear trap. That’s wrong. When his co-workers try to pry the trap open and keep losing grip so the trap slams shut another four or five times, I still shouldn’t laugh, even if it does prove that these people really need to do some team building.
But, I did.
And that pretty much sums up Severance, a lovely little British horror movie that taps into our innate dread of work related team building outings. I really hate those things. Sorry, but I’ve never trusted any of my co-workers at any job to catch me in a circle of trust and God help the employer who makes me go into the woods for this crap.
I don’t do nature.
And, knowing my luck, I’d also wind up surrounded by insane Eastern European war criminals and eating a found pie with a human tooth in it, like these characters. But, the real question is, would I get saved by a couple of resourceful blonde prostitutes in matching rabbit fur jackets?
Thing is, I’ve been through so many of these team building things, that I couldn’t help but troubleshoot the situation and figure out how, if these characters worked as a team, they could escape. It’s that whole “get your team across the toxic river of death” exercise we did at RA training in college. Take for example, the guy with his leg in the bear trap. One person holds the guy up under his arms and another lifts his leg out of the trap while two others pry the trap apart.
See? That should have been easy.
Everything about Severance is uncomfortable, like watching The Office, except with people getting killed in creative ways.
Which brings me to the next movie.
Where can you find a blood puking dwarf, a caviar belly explosion, a guy’s head impaled on a 40 oz. bottle of beer, and Billie Dee Williams?
Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror.
It’s the same format as Tales from the Crypt – an anthology of short horror morality tales introduced and held together by one character. Here, instead of the Cryptkeeper, we get the Hound of Hell played by Snoop Dogg (and accompanied by two demon hos), who is basically Hell’s elevator operator.
The acting isn’t very good, the scripts aren’t great, but I liked Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror. It’s disgusting splatter cheese done with what looks like a non-existent budget, but it has Billie Dee Williams and Ernie Hudson in it. Can you really go wrong with Lando Calrissian and a Ghostbuster?
Hood of Horror is extremely bloody: a person explodes, a chihuahua explodes, a guy eats his own ear. And anything that could possibly be used as an impaling device gets used, including a 40 oz., bull horns on the hood of a car.
But, the bloody deaths are so cartoony and over the top that I wasn’t really bothered by it. I ate a steak while this was going on and wasn’t grossed out at all.
Should I be bothered by that?
Severance turned out to be your basic slasher film – kind of a Sleepaway Camp for grown ups – but, overall, it was better than Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror, if only because I wouldn’t have gotten all the way through my steak while watching.
And it was a tasty steak. Severance wins this round.
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