Moonlight: But, I Liked It. . .
Star TrekStargate:AtlantisFireflyWhat’s worse? Being an unwilling vampire or dreaming that you’re being interviewed by Julie Chen? Mick St. John is unfortunate enough to meet with both of those fates in the first sixty seconds of Moonlight.
She doesn’t show her face, but I know the voice of the Chen-Bot 3000, the voice that has flubbed many a Head of Household competition on Big Brother.
During that first minutes of the pilot, Mick answers the Chen-Bot’s questions about what it’s like to be a vampire, dispels things like garlic, holy water and crosses as old wives’ tales and announces his blood ethics (no children, no innocents). It quickly defined vampirism in this world, but completely took away the fun of discovering these things on my own.
Because, CBS, I really am smart enough to draw conclusions and make inferences. For example, I see Mick walking around during the day and don’t immediately scream, “Vampires burn in sunlight! But, he’s outside in the daylight! WHAT’S GOING ON? I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S REAL ANYMORE!” and start vampire biting my Facebook friends in an effort to find some sense of vampiric order.
No, I think, “OK. In the Moonlight-verse, vampires aren’t killed by sunlight. That’s how Bram Stoker did it, too.”
And then, I can infer that there will probably be other differences between the vampires of Moonlight and other vampires. See, I can handle it, CBS. Why couldn’t you trust me? I’m hurt. (Lisa puts on her prom dress and shuffles off to the living room where she huddles in the fetal position in the space between the sofa and the TV stand, drinking wine from a box and wailing the lyrics to Barry Manilow’s “Mandy” - that’s how hurt she is).
But, at some point, I started liking Moonlight. Despite the narration. Despite the stereotypical, Eurotrash, “vampire” professor whose extracurriculars include banging his gothy students. Despite Beth Turner’s supremely stupid decision to go to a dark parking lot ALONE with the assistant of the guy WHO JUST ATTACKED HER.
I liked it because of Jason Dohring’s character, Josef Konstantin - a high strung, over-indulgent, 400 year old vampire who’s thrilled to be at the top of the food chain and keeps hot young babes around the house for brunch.
I liked it because it mixes vampires with procedural mystery and action. Yes, I’m aware that this has been done before, but I didn’t have a television when Angel and Forever Knight were airing so this is new for me.
I liked it because the action sequences looked like they hurt. I expect my violence to be violent and Mick St. John slamming through the window of a speeding car was pretty violent.
And because Alex O’Loughlin has actual chest hair. It’s hard to see on screen, but it’s there. I re-wound just to be sure.
Twice.
Mostly, I liked Moonlight because it has the potential to be a really good show. Granted, I said that about Flash Gordon too, but Moonlight seems to have a much better plan, a real live budget and a script that wasn’t written by monkeys using Microsoft Word. It also has a charming leading man and actors who are capable of acting.
Right now, recording space on my DVR is scarce, but I’m making room for Moonlight.
As long as Chen-Bot 3000 doesn’t come back.
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