Flash Gordon: Alliances

What is this? Flash is doing stuff? Ming is threatening? I actually give a monkey’s butt if the Verdan fix their water machine? How is it that, suddenly, Flash Gordon is good?

And not good for Flash Gordon. Good, period.

Sitting down with a barbecue beef wrap, we realized we were fifteen minutes early for Torchwood, so we flipped through the DVR recorded list and came to another realization: we had forgotten to delete the record setting for Flash Gordon.

So, we put it on just to kill time, and not only did we wind up watching the whole episode, it also pulled my attention away from Justice League of America #13, which I had been eagerly awaiting since the JLA wedding special. That’s good stuff, and yet my eyes kept drifting to Flash and the gang.

[nms:Flash Gordon,4,0]

Flash acted decisively and dove through last week’s still open rift to Mongo with Baylin and Zarkov in tow before the opening credits. There was a tribe with an actual crisis – and it wasn’t a ridiculous tribe like the penis hacking Omadrians or the ambiguously pleather wearing Dactyls. They’re the Tree Men of Arboria, but in this Flash-verse they’re called the Verdan and they don’t live in trees or dress like Robin Hood.

They do, however, still put their hands in a stump in a ceremony that will determine who lives and dies and they are still led by Barin, who’s kinda hot.

On the Ming front, the Benevolent Father has a flag he wants all of the tribes to fly over their own as a symbol of unity and Aura wants him to teach her about politics. He does this by arranging to marry her off to Barin against her will. “Welcome to politics,” he sneered after that announcement went kerplunk.

Well, that was a very Ming thing to do.

But, Flash, the guy who had to think about diving into a fight is suddenly running off to Mongo, determined to save a village, not taking “no” for an answer and attacking Night Hunters willy-nilly.

Night Hunters can see in the dark, drink blood, and look like Marylin Manson mated with a Reaver. They’re disgusting, dangerous, and are about to eat Zarkov – and Flash jumped right in and started fighting.

Flash is finally acting the way Flash Gordon should act.

Everything about this episode was better. There was no silly music. There was actual acting going on. The action sequences weren’t absurd. Stuff happened and the story moved forward.

Why did it take seven episodes to get here? All of the backstory with Flash and his mom, Flash and Dale, and Flash and his dad could have been done in thirty minutes, tops. All the introduction to the various tribes in need of liberation and the dangers of Mongo could have been done within the main story arc, rather than taking all of these silly, meandering side trips that take up an entire episode without accomplishing anything.

I’m assuming that all of those tribes and dangers which have been seemingly randomly set up will finally start coming together to be used meaningfully in the storyline. If I’m right, that’s a very Russian way to handle the story structure, which may have barely worked for Babylon 5 thirteen years ago, but for which I have little patience.

The slow building up and getting acquainted with the lay of the land bores me, especially when its done badly. I expect to be compelled and to care in short order. I expect stuff to happen immediately. I expect episodes to end with tension.

I expect Flash Gordon to be stranded on Mongo because that’s part of what makes him a hero. At the end of this episode, he finally is.

And for the first time in six weeks, I want to see the next episode. Flash may save every one of us after all.

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