A lot of Mongo things are getting stuck on Earth. Baylin and her wacky bondmate, (who was clearly representative of the SciFi Channel view of sci-fi geeks: rabid, unshowered, poor social skills). The happy butterflies of death. And now a brain drain device that attaches to the head with glowing blue ear bud tentacle thingies and turns people’s brains into jelly while mining for information.
Hmmmmm. Jelly brains. Perhaps Flash Gordon is an attempt – in cooperation with forces that would strip us of our civil liberties – to drain the viewing audience’s brain power to promote our docile population. . .
Or it’s just another failure of the SciFi Channel to remotely understand anything to do with science fiction or the people who like it.
Pathetic earthlings. . .
[nms:Flash Gordon,4,0]
The brain drain device is clearly representative of the show and the audience – all two of us (I’m fairly certain that John and I are the only people in America watching this) – anyway, that audience is the brain drain device’s victim.
And the chubby guy in the Dark Helmet helmet holding the brain drain device? He’s the SciFi Channel and he’s too cheap to even bother trying to make the glowing blue ear bud tentacle thingies look real.
I feel like the SciFi Channel is always flipping me off.
Seriously, they must have really put a lot of effort into screwing up Flash Gordon. You’ve got a hero, an evil dictator, his oversexed daughter and a mad scientist. How hard is it to get that right?
Flash Gordon isn’t exactly a complicated hero. He’s a jock who acts without hesitation because it’s the right thing to do. He flies blind on a rocketcycle. He rams the rocket Ajax into Mongo City, fully expecting to die.
The SciFi Channel’s Flash just kinda stands there while a girl gets beaten up, stupidly holding on to an alien gun that doesn’t even work.
What happened to “He’s for every one of us! Stand for every one of us! He’ll save with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child with a mighty flash!” How can you just ignore Freddie Mercury like that?
Next week the Hawkmen show up, looking very much like skinny, hairless goth boys in capes, squawking.
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Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
