Buffy for Beginners 2.5: Reptile Boy

This used to be one of the episodes I always chose to watch because – at the risk of sounding like an angry feminist – of the whole reptile/penis metaphor and the slaying of said reptile.

That said, the ep opens with a hilarious trope of dialogue between Buffy, Xander and Will as they watch a movie (a woman sings in Hindu and is sad because her lover spilled the bag of salt and now her minions have nowhere to put their fish thingie?) as a hush over Sunnydale gives Buffy the night off. Willow suggests heading to the Bronze and sneaking in their own tea bags and ordering hot water, but Xan quickly encourages her to �jump off the outlaw train.�

But ah, nothing is hush in Sunnydale as we see a young teen girl break out of a 2nd story window running from guys in monk looking outfits; we assume, of course, that they are some kind of demon or demon cult, but we later come to find that they�re frat boys. The girl has guts, but is quickly stopped in the cemetery by one of the frats and is dragged back to her doom.

Buffy dreams of Angel again, and Willow suggests going for coffee, �the non relationship drink of choice; it�s not a date, it�s a caffeinated beverage.� Oh, and Cordy is dating a Delta Zeta Kappa. Just because the paranormal has been more normal and less para as of late, according to Giles, Buffy should not forget her slayer duties. Buffy reminds Giles that he does not know what it�s like to be sixteen, and a girl and the slayer and having to stake vampires when you�re having fuzzy feelings for one. Giles lays down the law, and Buffy has to get to work.

After class, Buffy doddles with her friends, and notices Cordy talking to two frat boys in a black beamer, and Richard�s friend Tom Warner notices Buffy. Cordy co-opts Buffy from Xan and Will to meet Richard, and as he introduces himself �Hi, I�m Richard, and you are?� Buffy replies, �So not interested.� Tom Warner plays good cop against Richard�s bad cop, telling Buffy he�s a history major at the university; Xander quips in the background �like she�s gonna fall for that. She�s gonna walk away�now!� Buffy is captivated, and Xander whines �okay boots, start a walkin!� People underestimate the power of a good ramble, and Buffy must go practice slayage. �I hate these guys. Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don�t you hate these guys?� Xan asks. �Yeah, with their charmed lives and their movie star good looks and more money than you can count? I�m hating,� Will replies.

Meanwhile, Buffy kicks Giles� butt and she�s on patrol later that night where she finds a broken bracelet and Angel shows up and can smell the blood. They quarrel over their maudlin sort of relationship, as Buffy mentions that it would be funny (not funny haha) if they could see each other when it wasn�t a blood thing. But, Buffy is sixteen and Angel is 241. �When I kiss you, you don�t wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after,� Angel tells her. �No, when you kiss me I want to die.�

Cordy talks Buffy into going to the frat party thrown by the Zeta Kappas, and Buffy is depressed over Angel and agrees to go. If she doesn�t go, Cordy can�t. She�s talking about Richard Anderson as in �Anderson farms, Anderson aeronautics and Anderson cosmetics.� This is about achieving permanent prosperity for Cordy�s future.

But the Zeta Kappas are a cult, as we see a Kappa initiate getting branded down in an underground basement, and they worship a demon named Machida whom they serve. We see the girl that attempted escape at the beginning of the ep chained to a wall.

As Buffy tells Xan and Will that at least Tom can carry on a conversation, the Scoobs begin investigating the bracelet Buffy found in the cemetery as Buffy lies to Giles about her nightly plans and Xan decides to go to the frat party to protect Buffy and maybe catch an orgy �if it�s on early.�

However, as Cordy pressures Buffy to drink, Buffy at first refuses, but later decides to indulge because she�s �saving the world seven days a week� and once in awhile, wants to have some fun. But fun later turns into a roofie slipped into her drink and she heads upstairs to pass out, where we see Cordy already unconscious on the bed. Richard sneaks into the room, eyeing the girls seductively, hinting at possible rape, but Tom stops him, reminding him that they�re food for their master. Buffy and Cordy wake up chained to the wall with Calie, the missing girl, and soon find they�re about to be meat for the beast, a once a year sacrifice the brothers partake in so they can have success and money.

Buffy breaks free from her chains as Machida awakens from his slumber, he eerily resembles a giant penis that Buffy proceeds to castrate. Moral? As a young woman, you have to be careful; Meaning? Success is directly related to gender. Male gender = success and wealth, especially if you happen to be white with movie star good looks. Oh, and Giles, Angel and Will break in to help.

Later, as the ep concludes, we learn that with the castration of Machida, the frat boys past and present have lost their money and success while banks, corporations and the like crash and go bankrupt. It seems that their success happens at the expense of young women, much like the inequality in our culture between men and women in pay, treatment and significance. Our sacrifice is happening on a much wider scale than just this episode.

About Sabrina: As a kid my dad would sneak scary movies past my mom and let me indulge in his horror movie fetish. I grew up watching V, Alien Nation, The Thing, The Fog (all originals) and then, in 1992 when Buffy the movie came out, I became obsessed with vampires, girl power, and all things gothic. I once stayed home from school, faked sick, and watched BTVS: the movie 6 times in a row. I know the beginning cheerleading dance by heart (still). Currently, I’m obsessing over Laurell K. Hamilton novels, and dream about Anita Blake being my best friend.

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