Girls on Heroes have to put up with a lot. As if it isn’t bad enough dealing with all those other aspects of being a chick (tampons, bloaty day jeans and chick lit – not exactly a treat), the Heroes Chicks have the added annoyance of putting up with heroin addicted boyfriends who paint the future and fire guns willy-nilly, emotionally unstable nuclear cavemen, violently super-powered split personalities, mind-reading husbands, guys teleporting unannounced into the women’s bathroom, and sociopaths who want to eat their brains.
This week, the Heroes Chicks had an exploding man to contend with, which happens to a girl from time to time. How does a girl in the Heroes universe stop an exploding man before she’s ready for him to explode?
- Right in the middle of things, start an in-depth discussion of his performance, The View style, with your reflection in the mirror. Then punch him.
- Use your perception altering powers to make him see your mom. Then make him see a wookie. Make Chewbacca noises.
- Be Mrs. Petrelli (not the cute one in the wheelchair) and attempt to manipulate the “explosion” for your own purposes of world domination.
- Use your WiFi ability to post real time updates to your MySpace page, blog, and all of your friends on instant messenger, like so:
12:32 AM: Not there yet.
12:34 AM: What the hell was that move?
12:36 AM: Did I leave the coffeemaker on?
12:38 AM: WHY CAN’T HE FIND IT?!!
12:40 AM: Oh, just finish! I’m bored and I think there’s a repeat of ‘House’ on the TiVo.
12:41 AM: Ooooohhh. . . Hugh Laurie . . .
- Combine your regenerative powers with your innate klutziness (how did you ever become a cheerleader?) to impale yourself on a branch or other handy, nearby object.
Lisa Fary's earliest influences are Princess Leia, Rainbow Bright, Astronaut Barbie, and her 6th grade teacher, Ms. Palmer. She's angry that it's 2011 and she still doesn't have a hovercraft, but will accept a jetpack as consolation. That jetpack had better be pink with a rhinestone monogram. 
Hahaha!
I love it!
oh my gosh, that is freakin hilarious! I ♥ it, esp. the “make Chewbacca noises” part : )
In a show lead by a man and with most of the writers (maybe all of them?) being men, and somewhat nerdy-sensitive-action-loving writer men at that, the characters whose angst counts the most are the male characters. Yeah there are female leads (Jessica and Cheerleader) and female powerful people behind the scenes (Peter’s mom), but the characters that the writers are identifying most with personally and thematically are the male characters. Now don’t get me wrong, I grew up reading action stories with some character development in novels and comics that were mostly written by men. This background made it harder for me to figure out where my analog would fit in (as readers try and figure). Then, when I sat down to write, it also made it harder to figure on female leads that I would find convincing.
So back to “Heroes.” I like Peter and hope that his brother is okay (but I’m not holding my breath). The most interesting thing about the time-traveling “Hiro” is that he could undo some things, but he keeps having life experiences that ad to his growth that he doesn’t want to undo… the exception would be future distopia Hiro who made the decision to unmake himself by helping present-day Hiro. So I like that you don’t know exactly what will happen next, but I don’t always like the pacing and individual character scenarios can sometimes be predictable in any episode after the problem is set up.
And my most controversial thing to say – my opinion – is the the voices of Cheerleader, Jessica and Mom Petrelli are played by female actors but as characters are men wearing female suits for the most part.
I never looked at it that way, but it may explain why I find those characters so irritating.